Tinted windows

This afternoon as I was driving home from work I had a bit of a revelation. I think we've all seen cars around that have super heavy tinting on all the windows ,tricked out with cool rims and a killer sound system.

I've always kind of wondered who drives a car like that? I mean is it really some gangsta wannabe who doesn't want the man seeing him smoke a blunt while he loads his guns as he cruises the strip? Or is it something much less sinister?

I'm starting to think that the people with the heavy tinted window and killer sounds systems are actually car singers. We've all seen them, they get way too into whatever Britney Spears or Justin Timberlake song they have pounding through the stereo. I mean seriously, do you want to be caught singing along to anything that horrid.

You know maybe I'm making far too many generalizations about those with tinted windows. Perhaps they don't listen to the music of twits dressed entirely in denim (don't they have people to tell them what not to wear?). After all these people could just as easily be hooked on musicals and belting out lines from West Side Story and Guys and Dolls. They may even be closet country fanatics, but that doesn't seem likely as I have yet to see a pickup with tinted windows. Funny how the country music fans aren't embarrassed...or maybe it's because country songs have the pace of stories anyway so to an outside observer it would seem that they are talking on the phone.

Of course those who really need to have tinted windows are the stoplight nose pickers. Seriously dude, those aren't two way mirrors and I truly don't want to see how deep you can stick your finger. At best you will prove to me that the location of your sense of decency was just behind your eyes and you've scratched it out.

Request

So those of you who are observant noticed that I changed things up on the blog a little yesterday. For those of you who aren't I'll point out that I added a "best of" list with the links to the right. That's right I'm already compiling greatest hits, if I was a musician the next step would be to sell my music for commercials for vacuum cleaners and cars.

But I figured that there is no harm in having a list for new readers to check out. Lord knows that this blog is more miss than hit at times. So I need to do what I can to convince (fool) people into thinking that I actually do post something meaningful from time to time.

With that in mind I would ask you to let me know what were some of your favorite posts on my blog. They may already be in the list, if not I will add them to it. Those in the list are also a half-assed attempt to remember which were good so if any suck let me know and I'll remove them. There's no point in advertising how shitty I can be, that naturally comes through with time anyway.

Thanks.

Bus conversations.

So since I moved to Minneapolis I've had to take the bus a lot more. It's not that I had to leave a car behind when I moved here, I've never had one (though when you consider how much money I've spent on bikes I could have bought one by now). No my reason for joining in the throngs of sleepy mass transit riders here every morning is that I no longer live across the street from my work place so I can't just stumble over on foot in 5 minutes, which kind of sucks. Though I also don't live with up to 8 other people for who were able to clean about as well as Bush can predict "victory" in Iraq (how long ago was victory claimed?). I figure it's a pretty fair trade.

Since this has really been the first time in ages that I have had to use public transit it was an eye opening experience. I soon learned that the freaks are generally found at the front of the bus...well at least on the buses that run in my neighbourhood, but then again I seem to have a lot of "characters" around my neighbourhood. My most recent realization has been that nobody really talks on the bus, with two exceptions: the freaks and the people yelling into cell phones.

It's really quite surprising at times. The other day on the bus home I noticed that there seemed to be a lot of chatter on the bus. That wouldn't be all the unusual, we were leaving the university and friends may be riding together, but then I looked around. Nobody was talking to anyone else on the bus, there were at least four people talking into cell phones however. Now I have a cell phone and I have no problem with people using them in public, hell if you have a cell phone but refuse to use it in public I'd say that you have a problem. So obviously some of the courtesies of the past are taking a back seat in terms of conversations. After all most people when riding a bus would try to keep their conversations in more hushed/private tones, unless of course you don't care about people listening in on your bowel problems. That or you're like some valley girl who like uses like in front of every other like word.

But for some reason if people are on their cell phones they cannot seem to control their voices (or cars if they are driving, but don't get me started). Sure your plans for going out with your friends on Friday night are important (ok, let's pretend they are, you're only 20 after all), but I really don't need to hear that you double booked yourself with your sisters hockey game (to be honest, I don't think your friend cares either) so try speaking a bit softer. But if you must announce to the whole bus what exactly your plans are, I realize it's a bit challenging to let us know what the person on the other end of the line is saying, but at least finish your own sentences. I mean I hate to infer on what you are saying based upon my few minutes in your presence. And let's face it if I have to use my imagination I'm going to make it interesting. Which may mean I give you a strange look or two, but hey you left the door open for me to insert midgets, a couple of bottles of whiskey and donkey into your Saturday night. What can I say, I get bored easily on the bus and if you draw my attention you will be my entertainment.

Olympic Spirit

So we are well into the Olympic games and I'm curious, how many medals does your country have? Are they doing better or worse than expected? Is there talk of revamping the development programs and putting more money towards helping the athletes bring home the gold? And what about that Olympic Spirit?

See the last question is the key one there. We all pay attention to our country and how well they are doing in the games, how many medals they have, if there are enough gold medals, if we got them in the events we were expected to win. But is that really the Olympic Spirit? It's not "coming together to share in human achievement". It's more the traditional nationalistic "us" versus "them" mentality that has lead to such wonderful things as war (which incidentally has been started over as little as soccer match).

But then again, it's not like there is an actual definition of the Olympic Spirit, I tired to find one on the official Olympic page, let me know if you can find a definition for it. The closest I came was the Olympic Spirit web page, where they help build Olympic Spirit Centers. Now you think these guys could define the Olympic Spirit for me. Well this is what you get:

Olympic Spirit Mission Statement

Olympic Spirit Centers are designed to embody the heart, soul and global achievements of the Olympic Games, bringing the Olympic ideals directly to the people of the world in an inspiring and participatory entertainment and educational attraction.

Invoking the essence of the Olympic experience, Olympic Spirit Centers have universal appeal, and enable people of all colours and creeds, whether young or old, to celebrate, to be enriched and to be inspired by the spirit of Olympism.

Olympic Spirit communicates the Olympic values and ethos, inspires its visitors, promotes its partners and showcases its sponsors in an innovative and successful world-class leisure business.

Kind of a circular definition if you ask me.

I'm not sure if that whole ideal of human achievement is really seen properly through the current style of the Olympic games. It really is still a competition between nations, not a competition to surpass human limitations (cynically you could say that's the fight between the dopers and WADA). Maybe they should change the system up a little. The country that wins gold also has to train the worst place finisher in each sport. Silver takes care of the next worse and so on. Or maybe an adopt a country program, where the more successful countries help out the less successful ones. At least then it would start to take away some of the nationalistic overtones of the whole games.

So for now though, I suggest you no longer look at what country won what medal, but look at all the competitions and see how well the other medalists (glorious gold, acceptable silver and shameful, shameful bronze) did in the events.

Metrophobic

Yeah, so I made up the word I used for the title of this blog, so what! To be honest I think it's a highly accurate and appropriate word which has been lacking from the English language since the inception of the term "Metrosexual". I think by now we are all well aware of what the term Metrosexual is, and those who know me know that I pretty much fit the definition perfectly. By a strange coincidence (and it really is a coincidence) Deirdre has posted a blog detailing her perspective on Metrosexual men...I wonder who she's referring too? (I knew I shouldn't have said the comment that lead to point #9). But I'm sure you are all asking what is a Metrophobic?

Well, much like a lot of phobias it's based in an unfounded fear. And generally experienced my men entrenched in a nostalgic and tragically dated view of what masculine culture should represent. You know the type of guy I'm talking about, the kind that thinks that women are pristine delicate little flowers. That they are easily embarrassed/offended by any type of vulgar or sexual discussion. Come on guys, get with the times, women are as open about sex and sexuality as we are, if not more. If you don't believe me check out these blogs Example A and Example B. And let's face it, if you guys are supposed to be so tough why are you scared of wearing a pink shirt or using hair gel? To me that's the definition of being a pussy.

So, for the Metrophobics out there let me demystify some of the more common traits you see in the Metrosexual men around you. Perhaps with time you may even grow to appreciate and enjoy these things yourself.

Clothing: Ok, the first and most apparent aspect of clothing that most Metrophobes focus on is the colour. Yes, we metrosexuals will wear just about any colour we can find, and yes pink is now a very popular choice (too popular in fact, the in colour seems to have switched to purple, my prediction for the next colour is orange...or at least I hope so, I think I look good in orange). Now why are adult men so afraid of the colour pink? Is it the sexual identity associated with the colour pink? You know, as little babies it's always blue for boys pink for girls. You know why that was done, so that nurses can tell he little boys from the little girls in the nursery, that's all. You need more proof, how about the fact that women wear blue without turning into lesbians. So, go out and feel free to wear pink, you won't turn gay, women won't avoid you (in fact they may approach you without being totally drunk...no guarantees though, we haven't gotten to the grooming yet). So now that we have the colour down the other thing to remember is simple, buy clothes that FIT! You know that flow nicely with the shape of your body. It it looks like you're wearing your fathers shirt you aren't going to get far in life.

Grooming: Ok, this one is more subtle and can be even more scary. After all a lot of this will take place in the washroom, you know the place that you haven't cleaned since you moved into your apartment. Even scarier than that is the fact that you may have to go to a pleasant smelling store with all kinds of lotions, scrubs and soaps (though thankfully for the truly timid male you can always shop on-line). So the next time you are at a mall discretely slip into a Body Shop or similar store, don't worry your buddies won't see you, and if they are in there whatever you do don't acknowledge the fact that you know each other! Once you are in there you will need to find a few key items. Now don't be overwhelmed by all the products for women, hidden deep in each store is a section just for men, with manly products, made from: tigers blood, grizzly fur, wild horse sweat, baby seals and gun powder. Though if you can't find the mens section the womens products work just as well, only they re-label the ingredients as not to frighten the women-folk. So what you need is: shampoo, conditioner (and not in the same bottle), hair product, facial scrub and moisturizer. There are more products, but I want to start you off slow. Now it's really easy to use these things, though first you may want to napalm your washroom, just read the direction and use daily. Oh and while you're at it, get some chap stick, nail clippers and a nail file, and use them regularly! Even on your toes! No not the chap stick on your toes...moron!

Culture: Now this one is big, there are a lot of stereotypical male behaviour patterns that need to be shed to truly appreciate the metrosexual view of culture. For one, most popular North America sporting events don't fit with the metrosexual culture. Take football, the manly sport of pounding another guy into the ground...and putting your hands up against his perineum and slapping each other on the ass before heading to group showers. See you must remember, metrosexuals only dress gay, we aren't gay, so things like football and wrestling just don't work out well for us. Neither does NASCAR, but that's just because we have better things to do than watch cars drive in a circle for hours, hoping one of them crashes and explodes. Metrosexual activities include plays, indie movies, museums and other activities to which one would not bring a home-made sign or pain themselves in team colours. And why might you ask would a straight man pass up the opportunity to paint his friends backs? Well some of appeal of plays, indie movies, museums to the manly man can be summed up as: potential nudity, potential nudity, nudity and war. See those are some of the things you can see when you move away from the NFL, and trust me nobody is going to get bent out of shape if a nipple is seen in the museum.

So I hope that this has helped some of the metrophobes out there understand that there is nothing to fear of metrosexual style. It's not the first stop on the way to gay town, it's in fact a rebellion against the norm. Once leather jackets and earrings and motorcycles were being sported by scientists and software designers the whole James Dean rebel image lost a lot of luster. So a rebellion in the opposite direction was the next logical move. So you can either embrace metrosexality or be completely confused when modern women don't act like Ilsa from Casablanca and your interpretation of Rick is laughed at.

I've had enough!

That's it, I'm through with this crap, I'm sick and tired of the cold!

I know, that's pretty strange to hear from a Canadian, living in the US. Ok, so we could move the border south of Minneapolis and I doubt anyone would notice, but it's still technically the US. The point being that this has been quite possibly the warmest winter of my life. Yet, it's still winter and the temperature hasn't really been above freezing since sometime in November, or maybe October and it's not getting better any time soon.

I've been thinking, why on earth do humans subject themselves to these insane weather conditions? Seriously, how many people in these areas have jobs that can only be done there? Why don't people just pick up and move some place warmer? Hell, I moved some place colder when I moved to Edmonton, that was easy to do, moving further South should be just as simple.

And I know those of you who know me may be wondering why I'm complaining. Sure the temperature is now only -21 C (-6 F) I've been through worse, but that doesn't mean I enjoy it. Sure I can walk across campus at this temperature without a jacket (and yes, I just did) but that's only because I can tolerate the cold for a short period better than most. See I am the human equivalent of a block heater. My body can produce vast amounts of heat from the food I consume, yet being 6'2" and 170 pounds and very lean, I don't actually keep much of that heat near me. See I have a body designed to dissipate heat, so I get cold. It just happens that I managed to mess my brain up enough with all the drinking that I did (and drunk walking in the winter) that I no longer really register the cold temperature of my skin.

So take this is my formal warning, as soon as I can, I will be finding a job in a warmer climate. I'm too smart, too sick of the cold and too poorly insulated to spend any more winters being cold half the time. And you know what, I suggest that you all think about that, because I would love to have some friends join me in a warmer climate. Thinking of it now, I understand why people lived in colder climates, it was competition for food an resources...and they lost. But let's try that competition thing again, by now the cold has made us all a lot stronger (or maybe just desperate) but with that kind of motivation I'm pretty sure Canada could win a war with some nice warm laid-back tropical country. So anyone up for an invasion of Costa Rica? I can guarantee you they would never see it coming. Just think about it, I'm sure you'll see my logic at around -35 C.

How do you sign phenolphthalein?

So every other morning as I come into work I pass by this auditorium with a chem class underway. Poor bastards get started before 8:00 am as far as I can tell. The interesting thing about this class though is that as I pass by I can see the prof and seated up front with him is a woman doing sign language for at least one of the students. This isn't anything that is particularly uncommon to any university setting, there are plenty of students with disabilities that attend university and a number of resources are present to help them in their studies.

What have begun to ponder is just how hard it must be to do sign language for a science based class. I'll admit I really don't know much about sign language, I know that there is an alphabet, as well as a vocabulary of compete words, but how extensive is it? Hell it doesn't even matter how extensive your vocabulary is, once you get into a scientific field you start to come across some word that, well to be frank, have been made up from other words, like "kosmotropic" (meaning inducing or promoting the hydrogen bonding structure of water). So how on earth do those signing words to the deaf deal with those terms, or even the names of compounds, like phenolphthalein (which I frequently spell wrong). After all I'm fully bilingual (French and English) yet I have no clue what half the element names are in French, where names as basic as nitrogen become azote.

But I guess that's part of the nature of any specialized field becomes an education in a new language. All specializations use their own complex languages to simplify communication within the field. Be it medicine, music, law or physics, there are words used, like kosmotropic, which mean a great deal to those that can understand them and nothing to the rest of the world.

So I guess the biggest challenge to learning chemistry through sign language is that the translation of the words from sounds to gestures has got to be difficult. I wonder if the person signing has also been taught chemistry? If not it certainly would be a good way to go about learning new subjects.

Cool invitation

God I am such a geek! This morning I received what very well may have been one of the most exciting e-mails in my "professional" career (I use the term loosely, come on nobody knows if I don't even show up at work). A chemistry journal has asked me to review an article for them.

Though it's not the first time I have been asked to do a review. In my old research group we frequently were given the opportunity to help review papers...or maybe the task was just pawned off on us, either way it was a good experience. But this was the first time that I've been contacted directly about my expertise in something other than bicycles.

The sad part is that I'm all excited about doing more work, that will be acknowledged by about one person, who really has little to nothing to do with my career. Sure if I do enough of them I get to be on an editorial board...which means more work, and I doubt that there is any pay to it, but it's another line to add to my CV...the fact that I think that's a good thing shows so well that I'm destined to be an academic.

Can Cheney take Bush hunting next time?

I think by now we all know that Dick Cheney shot his hunting partner. But really does this surprise anyone, I mean I've heard from some pretty reliable sources that the man (if you can call Satan's spawn a man) eats babies with brimstone. I figured it was only a matter of time before the pure evil nature of the Republican government became undeniably evident. The only downside to the whole thing is that Bush wasn't there to be shot, we can only hope for the next time.

What did surprise me however was the fact the VP has a traveling medical detail. I've heard of a security detail, which I imagine is comprised of a half-dozen of more security guards, so what the hell is a medical detail? Does this man go around with his own MASH unit? After all the man literally has no heart left. Maybe that was it, maybe one of his hunting partners could have been a potential organ donor. Knowing the state of US "intelligence" gathering it's not surprising that Dick would have shot the wrong heart "donor".

And by the way, maybe the man wouldn't have so damn many heart problems if he actually walked around to hunt. It would seem that they were driving around when they saw the birds and decided to get out and try and shoot them. Then again, once you've sold your soul to the devil I suppose exercise is optional.

I still can't figure out why people smoke.

While I was having lunch today I saw a bus pass by with an anti-smoking ad on its side. That's cool, smoking really should be baned, as it is a lot of cities have made it illegal to smoke in bars and clubs now. But what struck me about this ad was that it really doesn't work.

See an ad needs to attract the attention of its target audience and speak to them in a language that they can understand. For an example take Michael Moore's documentary Fahrenheit 9/11. Sure it was a good piece exposing the corruption and generally suspect nature of the US invasion of Iraq, but there was one major flaw to the whole thing; it preached to the choir. Those who already agreed with the view-point where the most likely to go see it. It is doubtful that it changed any minds though it may have reached some who were on the fence.

When it comes to anti-smoking campaigns the same principal applies, don't speak to those who don't smoke, speak to the smokers. I think the Canadian government did a great job of this with the warning labels on cigarette packages. Images like this catch everybody's attention:

More of those warning labels can be found here.

The ad that I saw on the bus however read "Smoking narrows your arteries", with an image of a cigarette narrowed in the middle. Fair enough, it is a true statement, but here's a question, how many of you can tell me what the problem is with having narrow arteries? Not many of you really know what the dangers are, hell I can only guess at what they are. Now do you think a smoker is likely to be smart enough to realize what the dangers or narrowed arteries are? I don't think so. Let's face it, to smoke in this day and age and to be highly educated is not very common.

So as a consequence I don't think that the ad on the bus is likely going to help show smokers the folly in their habit. Fortunately there are some good campaigns out there which I think can get through to smokers. But with the price of a pack of cigarettes at around three to four dollars, there isn't the same kind of financial incentive to quite as is found in Canada with cigarette at around $10 a pack.

Hypocrisy makes my head hurt

So I'm not sure how many of you notice this article in the news, but I'm a bit pissed at the whole thing. Personally I'm starting to worry about how much control and influence the US government wants to have over it's citizens. I mean aren't the Republicans supposed to be the party of less government involvement? Hell Regan even said "Government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem."

But then again I've known for quite some time that US politics are based primarily in hypocrisy and double-standards. Let's just take the whole standpoint of the US relationship with two Communist countries, Cuba and China (just look at the different lauguage used in the background for each country). Now, both of these countries have had their share of military conflicts with the US (hell even Canada has had some) but each is treated vastly differently.

The way I see it both countries tried to spread Communism, both had some successes in doing so. Both countries were allied with the USSR during the height of the cold war, and both were involved in military conflicts (to varying degrees) with the US. Yet one is a major trading partner with the US another has a massive trade embargo enforced by the US. It makes absolutely no sense to me. I mean the country that is the greater threat to the US both in economic and military terms is China, yet the US accepts them with open arms? Hell, Cuba never was actively engaged in war with the US. China on the other had did fight the US in Vietnam and Korea. Sure there was the Cuban Missile Crisis, but that as a USSR response to US nuclear weapons place in Turkey.

But I'm resolved to the fact that the US relations with Cuba and China will always be typical of the hypocrisy in the US government. What ticks me off is how they straight out lie about their motives. They claim:

"Very basically, US law would apply to US corporations or subsidiaries of US corporations, no matter where they may be..."

So does this apply to Nike and any other major clothing manufacturer that exploits the lack child labour laws in other countries? Does the EPA and OSHA enforce their policies in foreign countries (oh wait, Bush keeps trimming their budgets, they barely enforce things in this country)? I didn't think so. But then again what would you expect from a country that thinks that automatic assault weapons should be available to all, but marriage is only available to those who aren't gay.

Just pissed off.

Ok, I know that I'm going to touch on a subject that I've hit on before, but I just need to vent. The drivers in this city are the ABSOLUTE WORST that I have ever encountered. I wish to apologize profusely to Edmontonians. I had for years sworn that there were no worse drivers, I stand humbly corrected.

You see these days I tend to be driving to and from work and though I'm usually the passenger I can't help getting aggravated by the utter ignorance of other drivers. One fun one from tonight was the jackass who, on a very busy downtown street, allowed a gap of nearly a block to open up in front of him as he putzed along at maybe 25 mph. And why was this? Well, he was talking on his cell phone of course. Listen to me carefully people, you do not need to be talking on your phone at all times. There is nothing that is that pressing. And frankly I'm sick of waiting behind, or nearly getting sideswiped by some mental midget on their cell phone while driving on the highway and drifting across lanes.

Another one that has been pissing me off, and I know this isn't "PC" in any way, but old people should not be allowed on the road during the rush-hour times. Let's face it they are old, they are retired and they drive way too damn slow and are seemingly lost most of the time. I found a great example on the way home tonight, shortly after getting around the jackass on his cell phone. This old woman (actually there were two in the car, clearly two heads are not better than one) was barely doing 20 mph, with open road in front of her. At one point she was in the middle lane at an intersection, there was a turning lane to her left and a regular lane to her right. As she approached the GREEN light she had her right turn signal on and started to BRAKE. Of course she went straight through the intersection, with the turn signal still flashing. After I got around her I noticed that when we got to a stop light she was the first car behind me, though there was room for at least another car between us. I've said it before, I'll say it again, after 50 there should be mandatory drivers tests every 5 years. And if we can't do that, I say limit the old folks to driving between 10:00 and 3:00.

The other group that I hate to see driving downtown are those who own SUVs. This is because nobody who lives in the city itself owns an SUV it's just not a city vehicle. The people that own SUVs are living out in the suburbs, and that's where those vehicles should stay, nice open roads with little traffic. Come to think of it I don't think SUV means Sports Utility Vehicle let's face it nobody uses them like they show on tv. I think it actually stands for Sub-Urban Vehicle. Because once the people who drive them get into an urban environment they are screwed! These people do not have the coping skills to deal with life in a city. I'm sure they check the door locks every time they see a black man in a suit. Hell, these people actually hit the brakes while going through green lights, I shit you not. The other day I was behind some ugly BMW SUV and the idiot driving it started to break 1/4 of the way down the block. Now I just figured that there were a lot of cars in front of us (mainly because I can't see around the damn things). It turns out that he was the ONLY car in front of me, he rode the breaks for 3/4 of a block! The idiot must crap his pants every time he sees a yellow light.

There are many more horrid drivers out there, and countless examples, but they all generally fall into those three categories. Now if only I had some way of clearly expressing the frustration that these drivers cause me. I mean sure, I could flip them the bird, but that really doesn't get the point across. I really do want to teach and help these people...ok, I want to ban cell phones in cars, old people from the road at rush hour and SUVs from downtown...I wonder if there are any "slurs" for those kinds of discrimination?

Oh on a parting note could someone explain this logic to me. I have a package that was sent to me by the mail. Since I'm not home when the mail comes it's waiting for me to pick it up at the post office. The office is open from 9 am to 5 pm weekdays and 9 am to 1 pm Saturday. What the hell kind of service is this? How many people are free to go to the post office between 9 and 5? And to get there in time on a Saturday I have to be up before noon and it wouldn't be to go biking! I'm starting to understand postal shootings, though I'm just curious why it's postal workers doing the shooting?

Curiosity

It's interesting to see what you can find on the internet. I don't know why, but for some reason my mind suddenly wanted to know what the term "wop" actually meant. I mean I had heard the term used and recognized that it is directed primarily towards Italians, but I had no real understanding of what the term meant. I mean I had long ago learned that a WASP wasn't the insect but a White Anglo-Saxon Protestant.

So I figured what the hell, Wikipedia has an answer for pretty much everything, let's see what we get for "wop". All I can say is DAMN! I had no clue there were so many "ethnic" slurs out there. These are slurs from just about any race/nation/sex against any other race/nation/sex. Some are creative, others mean, some are just down right odd.

Here are a few interesting ones that I noticed as I was scanning through. The users are in parentheses at the beginning of the definition:

North Dallas 40

(Texas blacks) White women with breast implants (fake breasts). This also refers to the perceived upscale status of women who choose to undergo breast enlargement surgery. North Dallas is historically the wealthiest area of that city. "40" (inches; about 102 cm) is an unusually large breast measurement for a normally-built woman. Also the title of a football movie.

Quintroon

(19th-century Europe & U.S.) a person of 1/16 Black ancestry. Now obsolete.

Mud Shark

(U.S.) White woman who seeks intimate relationships with black men.

MIT

(U.S. Chinese) Made In Taiwan; refers to immigrants born in the Republic of China. Contrast with ABC.

Luo bo tou

(Chinese) a Japanese person - literally means "carrot head", derived from the fact that the Japanese like to have pickled carrots as sidedishes in a meal.

Island Ape/ Inselaffe

(Germany) Term sometimes used for people from the United Kingdom

Gay or Just English?

(U.S.) The perceived effeminately foppish mannerisms of Englishmen

If you look through this list you'll certainly be able to find a slur that describes you perfectly. It's really stunning. I mean there were a whole bunch in there that are supposed to be Canadian slurs but I honestly had never heard of them. And to be frank I'm glad I hadn't, I'm glad that the people I associate with are more intelligent than to judge someone based on appearances or religion or anything other than who that person is.

I posted this link because it is interesting to see that there are slurs from everywhere for everyone. And some are funny, like the North Dallas 40 (but I'm also going to hell, so maybe my judgement isn't the best). But I'm not one to associate these terms to people nor would I ever use them in a malicious form (jokingly maybe, but that's only with people I know and who know how I truly think). So once again, feel free to have a guilty laugh or two, but also cringe at ones like the "Mississippi wind chime" and remember that there are people out there that do think this way still...and that's just sad and wrong.

At least I'm as dumb as my boss

So after I hastily posted the last blog entry I ran up to the room that our lab always has it's meeting in. As I got there, thinking I was late (though the person giving the presentation had been in my office when I left) I was surprised to see that there were several students in the room grading exams. Now this is a rather regular occurrence at a university, rooms will often be taken over by groups without regard to the booking schedule. Add to it the fact that my boss showed up moments later and I figured it was just the usual.

So we stood around chatting for a couple of minutes, the usual banter between two people who work together but otherwise know little about each other besides their work...oh how much fun that is. Actually my boss is pretty cool and as a result easy to talk to, it may help that he's maybe 6 or 7 years older than me. After a couple of minutes a prof from a nearby office came out with this twistable plastic toy. She made some comment about having it for the gen. chem. students when they come in, because a lot of them tend to cry and it's just easier on them if they have something to fidget with...great so if I do get an academic position I have that to look forward to. The way it twisted she said that it resembled a DNA helix, my boss however recognized that it was a circular loop and claimed it looked more like plasmid DNA...yup, we're geeking it up big time here folks!

Anyway after a couple of minutes chatting with the other prof she left and my boss realized something, not all of our meetings this term are in the same room (he should know, he made the schedule). In fact several meetings had us over in the other building, this was one of those meetings. Of course it always sucks to be the one who goes to the wrong room for a meeting, trust me I've done that many times before. What can I say, once I make something habitual I stop thinking about it in any great detail and minor changes mess it all up. But as I said in the opening line, at least I'm as dumb as my boss and was with him at the wrong room...though I think this just goes further to prove my point of PhDs being full of shit.

Plan B

So a couple of days ago I was going to write a blog about the refusal of some pharmacists to carry the Plan B contraceptive (a.k.a. the morning after pill) on moral grounds. The blog started off ok but then quickly degenerated into one of my now familiar attacks on the US government. So in order to show that I'm more than a one trick pony (and draw less attention to myself) I thought it better to make an entry about going to hell with the whole crew from T-Shirt Hell.

Well last night while browsing the news stories on Google News I saw yet another story related to a lawsuit, this time against Wal-Mart, for their reluctance to carry the Plan B pill. So I guess it's a sign, I've got to speak up...because the dozen people who read this blog, mostly from Canada, have a huge impact on the social politics in the US...meh, let's face it, this pony only really has one trick and I want to vent.

I guess I can start off with a simple question really, what does it matter if a woman uses the morning after pill? Seriously, who does it hurt? Hell in most cases that it's used there was probably no pregnancy in the first place, but was simply done as a precaution, a desire to avoid waiting a couple of months to find out and then have an actual abortion (and I'm sure that the waiting would be damn stressful). And let's face it, how many people are going to use it as birth control. Do you really want to have to run out to the pharmacy the next day after you have sex just to pick up a pill? Fuck no, you have other things to do. See the morning after pill is a wonderful thing in case the condom breaks, or you get drunk and have unprotected sex...those kind of situations.

Now pharmacies all sell birth control, hell I can only imagine how much revenue that generates. On top of that they certainly sell condoms, though how many of those are used for transporting drugs in someone's stomach is anyones guess. So what is so different about the morning after pill?

Well to the religious right (those running the US government at the moment) this is the same thing as abortion. Hell, I'm sure that if they thought they could get away with it they would ban the sale of condoms and birth control. Hell, according to the CDC (no that is not a link to the CDC, I found the information once, but I can no longer find their plan to combat HIV/AIDS and I have to go to a meeting, fact check for your own damn selves if you must) the number one defence against the transition of AIDS is abstinence...ok, now how about a realistic preventative measure. And I'm curious, can students in high schools get condoms from vending machines in the bathrooms, or is it better for them to bring their infants to Home Ec. so they can all learn how to change a diaper?

Now I have one last question for those of the religious right (like they read this blog). According to you life is sacred right? So abortions are wrong, am I correct here? I thought so, now why is it then that the death penalty is allowable? Shouldn't there be a whole turn the other check thing...you see I think you are misinterpreting that as turning a blind eye to your own two-faced behaviour...but maybe that's just me?

Why do scientists look like geeks?

Why is it that on any university campus you can identify what program a student is studying in within seconds just by looking at what they wear? The Arts and Humanities people are trendy and fashionable, sometimes over the top. The Business and Law school students are clean cut and a little conservative in their choice of wardrobe. The pretentious Med and Dental school students are wearing scrubs at all times. And finally the Science and Engineering crowd, essentially the biggest grouping of fashion misfits since the Village People.

Now for the most part I can understand the choice of wardrobe of those in each discipline. The Business/Law people need get used to projecting confidence and strength. Arts/Humanities hell, they come up with the fashions and are in touch with the world. Med/Dental students...ok, I can't understand that one, though maybe they should be called scrubs "strokes", as in stroking their egos. But for the Science/Engineering, why, oh why must they look so god damn goofy?

The only reason I have come up with is that it's tradition. I mean seriously, these people do rocket science, you think they could find a shirt that fits, or at least one that wasn't given to them by a company at a conference. I don't need to go into detail about describing the clothes they wear, you can picture it as accurately as I can explain it. Though I should state that there does seem to be a bit of a hierarchy of stylishness among the sciences. From top to bottom I would say it goes Bio-Sciences, Chemistry, Physics, Engineering, Comp-Sci and finally Math* (I wonder how many nerds will complain that I didn't include their discipline in the list?).

See the funny part is that the scientists are not oblivious to fashion, I mean sure they have minimal social contact, but they created the internet for crying out loud, they have seen images of stylish people. But as I found, if you wear fashionable clothes you will actually be questioned for it. I'm serious, I have had people wearing cloths that I would never wear in public derisively comment that I'm all dressed-up for wearing khakis and button down shirt! The same people get all uppity if you happen to dye your hair or cut it a style other than what was fashionable the decade you started elementary school.

It's strange to say this but it seems as though the majority of the science students actively try to cultivate the nerd/geek look. I can only assume it's tradition, very rarely have I come across a prof with a grasp on modern styles. I know the argument by the chemists is that they don't want to ruin their clothes...well that's what lab coats are for, and you know what, I only damaged one pair of pants from any kind of chemical spill, and that's because I wasn't wearing a lab coat. After all, by the time you're a grad student you should know basic lab safety and how not to spill. But seriously, why can't a comp-sci geek know how to dress himself, after all he's likely to be very concerned with the clothing choices of his WoW character (most likely a female elf).

I just don't get it. I would hope that all people would take some pride in their appearance, after all looking like you know what you're doing certainly helps in social situations...ah, there's the flaw, scientist and engineers only socialize with themselves...I guess it makes sense now, though it is oh so sad.

* Ranking of style was correlated to the percentage of women in the field, it may sound sexist but women always have more style then men.

Get rich off the dumb people.

As some of you may have come to realize I don't tolerate stupid people very well. I mean sure, we all have our moments when it would appear that we are still sedated from the lobotomy, that I can tolerate, hell those moments in life are funny. What I can't stand are the people who just cannot think for themselves. I saw this a lot when I taught chem labs. The best question being "Do I add this now?" as the student holds up a beaker of clear liquid. So this would be which of the six experiments? That would be what chemical? And what f*ing stage of the experiment are you at? People like that annoy the hell out of me.

I have realized one thing however, if I want to get rich quickly I need dumb people in the world. After all, it's far easier to get a million dumb fools to give you $20 than it is to get twenty millionaires to give you a million dollars each. So I guess the big question is what do stupid people need...well brains, so I guess the better question is, what do they want?

Now if I'm going to target the largest consumer group in the US I need to hit on a few key topics:

• Jesus - hey, it worked for Bush
• Oiled-up men in tights - wrestling has a huge following
• Oprah - let's face it, she's got her own cult, hell if she wasn't black and a woman she could be president
• Some kind of loud engine - preferably a "Hemi", what the hell is the deal with Hemi's anyway?
• Patriotism - cover the damn thing in red, white and blue with little stars and you'll sell millions
• Any form of celebrity gossip - though about pretty people and/or babies will do best

I think I have it! I need to have a born-again Christian wrestler touring around the country in some massive US flag painted pick-up truck doing daily a celebrity gossip show as a spin-off from his appearance on Oprah. That will at least get me an hour of daytime TV, and considering that I saw a whole room full of undergrads watching some twit on "Ellen" sing about being the "Geek in pink" while doing the robot, I figure the money will just come rolling in. After all, these kids are the bright young minds of the next generation...damn, we're screwed aren't we?