Sunday, January 08, 2006

The problem with problems

So what is it about me that makes me always feel that I need to be solving any problems that come up? I've always been this way, it doesn't really matter what the situation is, or whose problems they are, if I am somehow involved I will try to find the solution.

And yes, this may not be the worst thing in the world, but in some cases it is. Often times in life there are situations that have no solution, or more accurately there is no way that an outsider, such as myself, can do anything to provide a solution, things need to be internally resolved. Yet despite the fact that I recognize these situations I cannot help but feel distressed at my inability to "make things better".

And why is it that I need to make things better all the time? It's not that the problems bother me all that much, in a lot of cases they don't. Maybe it's a conditioning thing, after being the one that so many people have turned to help them with their problems, can I handle it if someone is insistent upon dealing with their own problems? Or maybe it comes out of a desire to feel needed, to in some way be irreplaceable, to assure my place within that persons life?

Or maybe it's something beyond my control? I recall a female friend telling me how guys often feel this compulsion to solve problems for her, even though she is fully capable of doing it herself and would prefer to be left alone to deal with them. So just maybe I can blame it on that damn Y chromosome, but somehow I think that's avoiding some of the reality of the situation.

The reality as to why I must always try to solve others problems may be a combination of all the factors above, and possibly some that I'm not fully aware of. Whatever the reason it is hard for me to walk away from a problem without having solved it, particularly if I care about the person who is suffering because of the problem. But I have to be realistic, I cannot solve all the problems out there, no matter how good my intentions, no matter how smart I think I am, there will always be situations that I just cannot resolve. Yet no matter how many ways I acknowledge that fact, realizing that I'm powerless leaves me feeling a bit lost, unsure of who I am and what I can do...I guess that's the danger of describing one's self as a problem solver, but I'm usually so good at it...

1 Comments:

Blogger CMac said...

? you lost me.

10:34 a.m.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home