Trust

Trust, it's a really simple word, but it holds a lot more meaning and carries much more weight than I think most of us realize. It's a particularly interesting aspect of social interactions and relationships. In some cases it's freely given: to complete strangers, simply based on what they wear, where they are. In other instances the same people without those factors, in different situations may be seen as untrustworthy.

In relationships trust is a tricky thing. It is a cornerstone of a healthy relationship, but where does the trust come from? It is obviously within the capabilities of each party to give their trust to another, that much is clear. But where does the belief that the trust will not be misused come from; that feeling that you get that you know that you are free of the terrible consequence that you might be wrong? I have come to realize of late that trust can appear be confidently given to another in two basic situations. Either you know that the other has been in a situation where the trust could have been abused, yet it was not. Or that you have the self confidence and strength to independently place your trust in the other.

In the first case it is rather simple to know that the other is trustworthy. It comes down to a point, a test if you will, where the other's actions can be determined to be a pass or fail, black or white, trustworthy or not. But is this truly a measure of trust, or is it confidence that under those conditions trust can be maintained. What if the variables were changed ever so slightly?

The second case, to me, seems to be a much more firm level of trust. It becomes an unconditional level of trust. For to reach that point it is as though you can see the trust you have for the other reflected back at you. It does not come from any quantifiable measure, it is more a feeling, a belief, I suppose much like the way the religious believe, almost blindly. It could almost be said to be seen in the words and actions on everything that the other does, yet still is invisible to others.

Now I'm a scientist, I like the quantifiable. I deal with measurable quantities and reproducibility. Blind faith does not come easy to me, I prefer to have results, unknowns to be frank scare me at times. So it is rather interesting to recognize that I once again have blind faith in someone. Of course I'm talking about Deirdre. I wish I could say that I had such blind faith immediately, or without the more tangible forms of trust, but I can't. I did need a couple of instances of that to pass, I'm still a scientist after all. But I recently feel as though I have turned a corner. I can see how my trust in her is not misplaced and I can see all the trust she has placed in me. And it's a wonderful thing to feel; it's as though you can fall asleep next to that person and that all is well and you are well protected and cared for.