Get rich off the dumb people.

As some of you may have come to realize I don't tolerate stupid people very well. I mean sure, we all have our moments when it would appear that we are still sedated from the lobotomy, that I can tolerate, hell those moments in life are funny. What I can't stand are the people who just cannot think for themselves. I saw this a lot when I taught chem labs. The best question being "Do I add this now?" as the student holds up a beaker of clear liquid. So this would be which of the six experiments? That would be what chemical? And what f*ing stage of the experiment are you at? People like that annoy the hell out of me.

I have realized one thing however, if I want to get rich quickly I need dumb people in the world. After all, it's far easier to get a million dumb fools to give you $20 than it is to get twenty millionaires to give you a million dollars each. So I guess the big question is what do stupid people need...well brains, so I guess the better question is, what do they want?

Now if I'm going to target the largest consumer group in the US I need to hit on a few key topics:

• Jesus - hey, it worked for Bush
• Oiled-up men in tights - wrestling has a huge following
• Oprah - let's face it, she's got her own cult, hell if she wasn't black and a woman she could be president
• Some kind of loud engine - preferably a "Hemi", what the hell is the deal with Hemi's anyway?
• Patriotism - cover the damn thing in red, white and blue with little stars and you'll sell millions
• Any form of celebrity gossip - though about pretty people and/or babies will do best

I think I have it! I need to have a born-again Christian wrestler touring around the country in some massive US flag painted pick-up truck doing daily a celebrity gossip show as a spin-off from his appearance on Oprah. That will at least get me an hour of daytime TV, and considering that I saw a whole room full of undergrads watching some twit on "Ellen" sing about being the "Geek in pink" while doing the robot, I figure the money will just come rolling in. After all, these kids are the bright young minds of the next generation...damn, we're screwed aren't we?