Washrooms

Yeah, I know, I'm reaching for a topic to discuss today. Actually this one has been tumbling around in my mind for a while, I just never really thought that it would make for a good entry, but here we go, so like venturing into a gas station bathroom, take a deep breath cause it may be really foul in there.

So pretty much all of us have at one point in time needed to use a public washroom. Let's face it, unless you are one of those people who is too fat to leave their own homes you've probably used a public restroom. For that matter if those people are too fat to get off the couch what condition is the bathroom in? And to they have over sized toilet seats for the super morbidly obese? (well it turns out that someone has already started in on that market).

Now whenever you step into a public washroom you are struck by the scent first. No matter the condition of the place there is a strong odour. It's either some ridiculously potent artificial 'clean' smell or the smell that it is meant to cover up. It's a fact of life, washrooms are going to stink, but you think that they could improve the ventilation, rather than having a single moldy vent barely moving the air (or maybe that's just where I work?).

Beyond that you never really know what you are going to see in the washroom when you go in. I've turned the corner into a washroom only to see a stark white ass staring at me as some guy had dropped everything to use the urinal. More than once I have even heard of someone finding out that another had decided that the urinal was the ideal place to do #2...the logistics and comfort of such an act alone are enough to boggle my mind. And in terms of urinals sometimes you find yourself in some surprising situations, like finding that the urinals have all be replaced by a single metal basin to share among all those that can crowd up, or simply finding ridiculously long line-ups.

Among the things you may encounter in the washroom, a friend/coworker/boss are among my least favorite. I know, it's kind of odd, but if I have to do my business with others around I would prefer that they not know who I am. This isn't because of horrid aim, strange noises or any other quirks, I just don't want to have to engage in small talk while I'm expelling dangerous waste from my body. This is particularly awkward when you are at a urinal and someone comes up to do their business and begins to chat with you. So when you are done what do you do? Stand there politely and wait for them to finish? Do you walk off and have them shout across the washroom? Seriously people don't talk to me in the wash room, maybe hi, that's about it. As we have already established the smell is less than ideal and I don't want to have to spend any extra time in there if it can be avoided.

Now I'm pretty sure most guys reading this know, or have played, the Urinal Game. It is designed to illustrate those unwritten rules of etiquette that should be followed in men's rest rooms. Though I'm beginning to think that these rules need to be written out, for the comfort of all us.

Now here are just a few other things that tick me off and I seem to encounter all to frequently:

- News papers in the stalls...sure I may want to read it, but I don't want to read a paper that has been sitting on the floor beneath the bowl, you brought it in you take it out, stalls are deposit boxes, not recycling bins.

- Flush the damn toilet...seriously, I have encounter this, most frequently in universities, which stuns me since you would think that a university student would have figured out that concept by now.

- Put your paper towels in the garbage...the washroom is nasty enough to begin with, I don't need it to seem as though there was a giant confetti party in there before I came in.

- Don't wasted feet and feet of toilet paper to cover the seat...wipe the damn thing down with a piece of paper and go about your business, it's hardened plastic and won't promote bacterial growth. Now should you insist on covering the seat with 6 feet of single ply paper, flush the damn stuff down when you are done, I understand the re-use concept but I draw the line there.

Finally, could someone explain to me why the hell some guys feel the need to flush halfway through when they are at the urinal? It's not going to overflow, do they want to have some fun and try to fight the current?

Ok, that's way more than anyone wanted to hear about my thoughts on washrooms, but someone complained that I had not provided a tool for procrastination yet this weekend.