How can advertisers so blatantly lie?

I seriously wonder at times how on earth advertisers get away with such bold-faced lies. Having a background in chemistry it's so much fun to listen to the terms that are used to describe products. Have you ever used a moisturizer with 'lipids'? Sounds a hell of a lot better than one with 'fats', even though they are the same thing.

Another great one is 'space age polymer'. Now lets look at this one closely. Though space age sounds really impressive, and admittedly it was when it began...or so I'm told. See the 'space age' began in 1957, 20 years before I was born. And as for a polymer, well starch is a polymer, sugar is another polymer, so is anything that is made of repeating individual units (like a chain). So to be a 'space age polymer' it simply has to be a polymer designed after 1957, not exactly a guarantee of cutting edge technology.

But the one that got me started on this whole rant was on a Coca-Cola fountain. They listed both the size and prices of the drinks, along with a comment on the value. Here's what it read:

* 22 oz (651 ml in real units) for $1.29 - Good Value
* 33 oz (976 ml, my god that's a lot) for $1.39 - Great Value
* 44 oz (1301 ml, that's just fucking nuts!) for $1.49 - Best Value

Ok, I didn't realize the volumes until I did the conversion, damn that is just stupid!

So how exactly can it be a "good value" to get half the amount at 86% the price? Is there no understanding of economics, math or even basic logic in the world any longer?

What I need to do is make some stickers to change the "value" of the drinks. Here's what I would put:

* 44 oz = We're screwing you pretty good already!
* 33 oz = Oh boy are we ever sticking it to you on this one!
* 22 oz = You know, it would be cheaper for you to be a fat ass and drink more, but instead we're going to fuck you the hardest, you sick, reasonable, free thinking, fool.

The more I think of their pricing scheme the more I think of them as drug dealers...

"You buy enough pot and I'll even throw in a bit of crack on the side."

"What? You don't do that?"

"Ah, have it anyway, 'cause I like you."

Now you will have to excuse me, as I feel dirty for bashing Coca-Cola, my one true love, and I must go repent by buying all three sizes and a can just in case...yes, I'm a hypocrite, deal with it.