Baby talk

Yeah, I know, I really suck at keeping this blog rolling at the moment. I'm not too sure why that is. Admittedly I do seem to have a bit more on my plate at work, things are going well and I want to keep it that way. And I seem to be occupied most nights, hey given the choice to spend time with my girlfriend or write blog entries, I'd chose her over this...though is that really a hard call to make? If so something is seriously wrong.

Now the process for blog topics in the past has generally been a thought that had come to mind, that I didn't have a chance to discuss with anyone else. This blog entry however isn't going to be one like that, I haven't really had those thoughts lately...well that's not entirely true, I have spent a good bit of time in the nanofab and am disgusted at the mess that I find there every time, but I've hit that topic a bit much in the last month. So let's talk about something new, let's talk about babies!

Now before you get your shorts all up in a bunch, NO I AM NOT THINKING OF HAVING BABIES WITH MY GIRLFRIEND!

In fact nothing could be further from the truth. On several occasions this past week we have both commented on the benefits of not having children. Now before I go any further I just want to be clear here. I do not think that babies are horrible little creatures infused with the pure essence of hell...well, not all of them anyway. Actually I like kids, I think that they are fun, and I enjoy watching them learn, their curiosity is incredible, which makes me wonder how they can grow up to be adults who are spoon feed lies and willingly believe them (i.e. anyone who voted for Bush a second time)...funny how they lose the curiosity yet retain the desire to have everything given to them. But for the most part my enjoyment of kids is limited to stretches of a few hours at a time. Generally about enough time for me to bore of them, or for them to become, hungry/cranky/sleepy/gassy/burpy/smelly/wet...yeah, there is a lot about little kids that I don't like. So yes, I do like kids, so long as there is someone nearby that I can give them back to as soon as they start crying, which they all inevitably do, for the first 5+ years.

The fact is, I admire anyone who is willing to raise kids. I thank my parents for having kids (go figure), as well as the parents of my friends, particular the parents of my girlfriend (and with 12 kids there are a lot of people thanking them). There are however a lot of people that I don't thank for having had kids, the parents of the two people who almost nailed me while I was riding my bike this weekend, the parents of the idiots that are so dumb that Dr. Pepper bottles come with warnings that the contents are pressurized, and of course the whole Bush family for their efforts in procreation (hey, I haven't ragged on the Republican government in a while, I want to make sure people don't think I've gone soft). Though I admire those who have kids I don't think that it is a necessity for all of us, after all 6 BILLION plus seems like enough for the moment.

I know a lot of you will argue that it is the biological drive of any organism, the desire to reproduce, to ensure that some of my genes make it into the final organism...and what prize do I get for that? Sure a few billion years ago immortality was best achieved through genetic heritage, but thanks to Google and their information gathering I will be forever stored in some digital form through this blog and probably all my e-mails. Anyway, if my biological drive is to spread my genes around why should I stick to one mate? I mean it takes 9 months to pop a kid out, I could knock up plenty of women in that time if I wanted to ensure the survival of my genes. But since I want to follow a path of monogamy, which seems biologically abnormal, why should I reproduce?

One of the biggest reasons I can find for not wanting to father children, is the time. Not only is the pregnancy 9 months, but unlike gazelles, antelopes and cattle (yeah, I know they are all in the same Family) human babies are not self-sufficient at birth. Hell, judging by what I have seen of undergrads a lot of them still aren't self-sufficient when they are "adults". Do I really have the patience to deal with the stupidities of a child for that long? I doubt it. Once again though, I really do wish to thank my parents, 'cause let's face it, I wasn't exactly the brightest kid out there.

So I have to say that it is great to have a girlfriend who, when we are out to dinner and we hear a child crying at the table next to us, will look at me with an expression in her eyes as if to say "I never want to be in that situation." Which just makes me smile. Because I don't want to be there either. I would rather have the freedom to take a vacation along the Mediterranean coast, to hike the Costa Rican rain forests. Not have to change diapers, go to parent/teacher nights or deal with any of the other crap that being a parent entails. After all, I don't see there being much fun in being the guy who has to make the late night tun to the grocery store for diapers, I'd much rather enjoy a nice late romantic dinner for two, but that's just me.

As I said, my hat is off to all of you who chose to raise children. If you believe that they are a gift, I'm certain that they will be to you. And remember, I see nothing wrong with having kids, and I do not look down upon you for your choices. All I ask is that you not look down on me for my choice not to have kids.