Sober choices in a bar.
So this is interesting, for the first time in a long time I have been pondering the idea of asking out a waitress from a bar. Imagine this, the last time I asked out a waitress (known only through her work) was when I was drinking, what a surprise. Sure it was the end of the night and she knew better than I did just how much I had to drink that night, but it was a good idea right?
Yeah, I know, I cringe at the blurred memory of the event, or maybe it was events, I really don't recall, that last summer in
Yet now that I am lucid (most of the time) the thought has crossed my mind once again. But I'm always hesitant to even think about asking out a girl who is serving me at a bar. Hell, for the most part I assume that a pleasant demeanour will be guaranteed, which is why I didn't even realize a former student was "really flirting" with me until some friends pointed it out. It is true that any server will be polite and as charming as possible, after all they are hoping to get a good tip. So, how does one distinguish between potential interest and knowing how to play a guy for a bit bigger tip?
In my case I have no basis to make any real assumptions at this point in time. The only hint that I have is that while she was in the bar the other night (before her shift) she started to chat with me a little as I paid the other waitress. Yet it should be noted that she recognizes me as one of the chemistry people (we hit this bar every Wednesday after our softball games) and she pretty much has most of the chem guys wrapped around her little finger. Though to be fair just about any moderately cute girl that would give the average chem grad student the time of day could easily become his master if she desired. And seeing as I am a good tipper, I have enough friends in the service industry to know better than to tip poorly (hell just read waiter rant to understand some of the crap they deal with) I have no way of knowing what her motivations are. So it is also with that in mind that I am hesitant to ask a waitress out, plus I know that she is probably hit on several times a night by the various versions of my former self that frequent the bar, so does adding a sober fool to the mix help this in any way?
So for now I guess I'll just sit on it, as it is I don't know if I will even be back in that bar again. Though they do have a free poker tournament that same night each week, no entry fee and there are a few prizes for the top players. So maybe I'll just have to check out a game or two and see if she chats with me some more...humm is that starting to sound to stalkerish?
6 Comments:
I would tend to agree... Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as they say. :)
Knowing is better than wondering. And a refusal doesn't have to be a negative thing. I can't count how many friends I've met while hitting on them. Or their friends. Or whatever.
...Damn, there goes one of my methods of meeting new friends. :)
8:46 p.m.
You should go for it.
Take it from somone who knows:
a drunk guy whose slobbering all over himself and hitting on you is WAY different than a nice sober guy like your self politley asking you out on a date. So even if she gets hit on alot i doubt its from a nice sober guy like you.
if she says no than you'll know if she was just playing with you to get a bigger tip. The worst that can happen is for her to say no.
7:03 a.m.
Agrees. Find a way to ask her out when she is not busy so that you aren't intruding on her life.
Besides if you ask her out and she says no, we can all enjoy reading her "just because I am smiling doesn't mean I love you" rant on her own blog. It will be a lot of fun for us, though maybe less so for you.
Cheers
11:19 a.m.
I get it, you guys are sick of the 'happy' me and want me to be back to my complaining self again ;) Anyway we will see what happens the next time I'm there, I'll keep you all informed.
2:09 p.m.
My wife says to try a couple things. First, just talk to her a lot when you are there. You don't have to ask her out immediately, just say hello and talk. Second, the first date should be some obviously safe date. It could be going out with several friends, assuming some of them are also female, especially ones she may have seen before, or whatever else seems safe. So that lovely weekend in a remote cabin with a warm fire may not be the best idea for date number 1. I guess the idea is to do your best to let her reject you for you, not because it seems weird or she's really busy right then. That was a nice negative way to put it. :)
5:12 p.m.
Don’t do it! The short sting of rejection is to much to risk compared to the unappealing potential of a long and wonderful relationship, possibly filled with that annoying great sex.
10:04 a.m.
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