Hazardous Weather Outlook...

Ok so I don't know how much time I have left to write this bolg entry...it may even be my last...my region is currently in a "HAZARDOUS WEATHER OUTLOOK"...I love you all, it's time to confess all my sins as I think this is the end....

Wait a minute, I'm Canadian, I don't panic because there is wind. I'm just getting sick of some of the stupidity in dealing with the weather in this country. If you take the time to check out the NOAA web site you will get the weather across the US, including a rainbow of warning colours, ranging from beige to turquoise (which is being used for a "red flag warning"?).

I really think Americans would be afraid of their own shadows...at the moment (about 7:00 pm my time) I would estimate that 80% of the US is under some kind of weather warning. Below is a list of some of my favorites, if anyone can explain/differentiate some of them I would love to hear from you:

• Flood Warning
• Flash Flood Watch
• Flood Advisory
• Flood Watch
• Flood Statement
• Short Term Forecast (what the hell kind of warning is that?)
• Hazardous Weather Outlook
• Tornado Watch
• Tornado Warning
• Severe Thunderstorm Warning
• Severe Weather Statement
• Severe Thunderstorm Watch
• Special Weather Statement
• Red Flag Warning (does this mean to take in red flags, or red flags are falling from the sky?)
• Wind Advisory
• Health Advisory
• Urban and Small Stream Flood (the ditches will be full of water, so what?)
• Flash Flood Warning (no this isn't a duplicate, the last one was a 'Watch', I can't tell a difference can you tell a difference?)

On top of all that there are interesting radar images with colour coded...colours...seriously they give no scale or even title to identify what the colours represent. For all I know the colours represent the density of dogs with puffy tails.

So that being said you'll have to forgive me if I don't run for shelter next time I hear a weather warning of some kind. Sure I may actually get sucked up by a tornado, but you will have my permission to sue the hell out of NOAA for having cried wolf so many times...knowing this country that might even work, so I'll do what I can...just remember sue them for the lovely act of "wrongful death"... does that imply that there must be a "rightful death" or maybe that would be righteous...

Later, miss you all.