Hurts so good.

This past weekend I did a lot of biking, a little over 140 km (88 miles) to be exact. Now that's not too bad for this time of year, but by mid-summer that will be seen as a light weekend. Hell there was the one Labour Day weekend where I did 400 km (250 miles) in three days, ok that may have been a bit excessive. But for me riding the bike is great fun. It's a unique freedom and it just helps me feel that much more alive. This weekend I realized one of the things that I love about bicycling, the connection I have with my body.

Now I know that might sound a bit strange, but there have been a number of instances when talking to friends that I've realized that I am a lot more aware of what's going on with my body than most. See I'm never caught by surprise by any pains or anything like that. I'm constantly self-diagnosing my body and anything that feels unusual sets off alarm bells. I know when something goes wrong and I generally don't ignore pains...that's often a good way to fuck things up even worse.

So this weekend while biking it was interesting to find myself somewhat out of touch with the signals my body was giving me, one could say I was having communication problems, with myself...yeah I know, I'm "special". See what happened on the Saturday ride was a typical early season occurrence for me. After riding for a little less than two hours with a couple of teammates I decided to extend my ride, thinking I would roll out to St. Paul and back and call it a day. Well about a half hour after I started this journey my body started to get through to me, unfortunately it was telling me I was out of gas. Yup, there I was, about 15 km (10 miles) from home, and facing some nasty headwinds all the way back. That just sucked. But I do it every year, because I still have to teach myself what my limits are each year.

The really interesting part about this though is how quickly my body adapts to the stress of riding. Sunday's ride ended up being 5 km (3 miles) shorter but WAY hillier yet at the end I was feeling much better than the day before; I didn't think I was going to fall down the stairs while going into the apartment, a fear the day prior and why I keep my helmet on until I reach the couch.

And this difference in sensation after the ride is what I love to feel. That sense that I am getting stronger or faster or having greater endurance. Part of why I love to race is because I love to push myself to that point of exhaustion, to get to the point where it's all about to fall apart and then keep going. And it's not the feeling at the time of the event, in the race it's all pain, it hurts and on many levels all you want is for it to stop. But you also don't want to drop out, you don't want to ride in alone, so you keep pushing until it's over, or you are. But that's when it feels the best, right when you are done. It just feels good to exhaust my body in that fashion, to feel this heavy yet strong sensation in my legs after a long ride or a hard race. To know that you have pushed hard enough to cause your body to change and next time you will have to push harder to get a similar effect, and you will do just that. I can't wait for next weekend, assuming that the snow is gone...