Coke is crap

Now, I'm not too sure how I've been able to do it but for years I've drank hundreds of liters of Coca Cola, literally. That's not the part that surprises me, I love the taste of it, what surprises me is that I actually managed to avoid putting on dozens of pounds (or any really) in that time. But I was lucky, because I had a near addiction to Coca Cola. Actually it was pretty close to being an addiction; if I didn't have a coke before about 2:00 pm I would start to get a headache, likely just caffeine withdrawal, but it still sucked.

A few times before now I'd managed to shake the black monkey from my back, but he always came back. My failure was usually because I just started to neglect that I was trying kick the habit, and once I had a taste for that sweet nectar again I was done for. That being said, somehow I managed to kick the habit yet again. I'm pretty pleased with myself for it since I wasn't really trying to. It came out of a byproduct of trying to eat more healthier meals, mainly more fruit and vegetables. I'm hoping that I can stay off it this time, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

I have noticed lately that there's been a new product on the shelves in stores lately: Diet Coke Plus. It turns out that they have added vitamin and minerals to Diet Coke to make it "healthy". You can read a press release here if you want (I didn't, I just used it for the technical information). Now I haven't tested Diet Coke Plus myself, but I'm pretty sure that they are just selling snake oil. Ok, maybe there are a few vitamins in there, but as for their claims of there being any zinc or magnesium, well I call BULLSHIT!

See zinc and magnesium are both metals; acids, like the carbonic and phosphoric acids in coke, will combine with the metal ions to form complexes in solution, some are soluble, many are not. Well the complexes that zinc and magnesium form with carbonate or phosphate are nowhere near the DV of the metals. The reality is that Coke probably never put the minerals in the product, or they were filtered out as a solid before bottling; of their should be particulate matter floating around in your coke.

In fact I did some rough calculations, and if you were to get 10% of your DV for magnesium you would need to drink 11,860 liters of Diet Coke Plus! I'm pretty sure you can get more magnesium in your diet by sucking on a quarter than drinking Diet Coke Plus, talk about fraud!

Science news

As a scientist some time ago I came to the realization that the vast majority of the world has no clue what is going on in the sciences. I can't really blame them either, there are so many new developments all the time it's hard for anyone to keep up. Hell, since my brother got me a subscription to New Scientist for Christmas I've been struggling to understand a wide variety of things, like what a boson is or trying to wrap my mind around the interpretations of the cosmic background radiation.

But that being said I think the media does a horrible job of presenting the sciences and advances therein to the general public. Just look at the news this past week, how many of you have heard of the discovery of kryptonite? I'm betting most, if not all of you can. Now this might be an important discovery; if it did what it did in the movies and if Superman's heat vision was causing global warming. But frankly it's not, it's the standard fluff news that is presented to the public because they can relate to it in some way...sadly in this case it's through a fictional character. Conversely have any of you heard of a method of genetic manipulation of mosquitoes being used to combat malaria? Somehow I think that that may just have a greater impact on humanity than the fact that the people making the Superman movies had a moderate understanding of chemistry theories.

Fuck the four seasons

Now that I'm moving to SoCal I seem to have taken a new perspective on things, particularly anything dealing with the weather. I can't stand the random temperature changes that are all too common in the northern regions that I've lived in all my life. Sure it's nice to have a summer-like day in the first weeks of spring, but that just makes the frozen shit that follows always that much worse.

Now this leads me to one of the stupidest things that I've heard people say in northern climates; that they couldn't live without the seasons. All I have to say to this is: bullshit! What you can't live without is a topic of conversation and source of complaints.

And do you want to know why I say this is bullshit? Well, whenever spring arrives everyone always claims that they love winter but that it's nice that spring finally arrived. Yet has anyone EVER said that they were happy that winter or even fall arrived. It never happens, everyone always laments the end of summer and thinks back fondly on the good times. Sure they may find some way to enjoy and survive the winter, but do they really want to endure a winter?
I think that those who say that they can't live without the seasons really just lack some imagination. After all, humans are about the only animals the endure all four season; most animals are smart enough to migrate or at the very least hibernate to avoid the discomfort (and likely death) that winter brings.

I'm really happy that it's finally spring-like weather here and that this really is just about hte last seasonal transition I'm going to have to make. Because frankly, I'm getting sick of talking about the weather so I cannot wait to be somewhere that it's a constant not something that is constantly challenging you.

Candy sucks.

Now those of you who know me are aware of how skinny I am. Those that don't, picture a guy who's 6'2" just under 170 pounds with legs that are about three times as big as my arms. But hey, I'm a cyclist, weight is an important factor in racing; the heavier you are the harder it is to go up hills. And yes, I know I'm in the Midwest and there aren't any real hills here I'm still watching my weight. In fact I picked up a body fat measuring scale over the winter. It measures my body fat based on the electrical impedance of my body. It's not perfect, but by using it consistently I can get an idea if I'm gaining or losing body fat. And yes, I know that I'm skinny enough that it's easy to do that visually, but give me a break, I'm a scientist and I like numbers.

So I've been weighing myself every morning and I have been pleased to see that I'm sitting at about 168 pounds (give or take a pound). Well over the weekend I started riding a lot more than normal, doing 220 km in two rides; one of only 80 km, the other of 140 km. As a result I've found myself a bit hungrier than usual. Actually I first found myself to be a bit sunburned and with a sore knee, but those were due to a lack of sunscreen and a crooked saddle. The hunger part, well that was just a natural reaction to burning about 7700 calories just by riding.

So when I got a wonderful care package from Deirdre on Monday I was doubly happy because it contained a bag of Twerpz. I don't know if they have them in Canada but they are damn tasty! Essentially they are licorice bits with tangy filling. Anyway, as I was text messaging Deirdre to thank her for her gift I was snacking on the Twerpz. I then went out for a light ride, once I was back I snacked on them a bit more. The next thing I knew I was done the whole bag...the biggest ones that you can buy! So I wasn't terribly surprised to see that I weighed 171 pounds this morning. I seriously need to stay away from candy when I start to ride hard.

Scientists and movie stars

So a rather strange thought popped into my mind today; that being that movie stars and research profs are much more similar than I would have anticipated.

I'm sure that you're probably wondering why I would have even been thinking of any of this. Well, with a wife in the entertainment industry I may end up meeting movie stars and the like... Ok, she's told me many times that it would be unlikely and if we do I should try and remember who they are and not do anything to embarrass her. Which I've taken to mean not to talk and/or stare at them. Not that I really blame her; I mean look at the crap that I talk about!

Just the same, if I had a chance to have a conversation with a star out of her sight I think we'd find that we have many things in common. Here's a list of some of the similarities that I can think of:

Egos/narcissism: We all assume that most movie stars are self important, but you might not think of that as being a key trait of a research prof. But in reality they need to think that they are smarter than you, better than you and more talented than you. Of course they also have incredibly frail egos and are always afraid that there may be someone out there who is better than them, thus constantly needing to be validated by others

Popularity: Sure, these are nowhere near the same scale, but the factors that are used to measure them are very similar. Scientists look at the number times their publications have been cited and their success in getting grants, comparing themselves by these numbers. Movie stars have their box office numbers and salaries as an equivalent.

Territory: Movie starts have their dressing rooms/trailers and huge homes; scientists have lab and office space. And I'm pretty sure that scientists are the most vicious and evil about getting their space.

Adoration: Movie stars have an entourage of people to do their every bidding, just for the chance to prosper from the affiliation with the star; profs have grad students.

Awards: So the movie stars have a much better presentation of all their awards, even the Razzies get better publicity than the Nobel Prize. Hell, the wussy peace prize gets all the attention anyway, which is ironic since Nobel made his fortune by creating a stable explosive compound. But whenever a prof is an invited speaker the first thing that is done as he/she is introduced is a listing of the major awards that he/she has won; accompanied by the appropriate feigned modesty.

So in the end research profs and movie stars may not be all that different...so long as you neglect the minor aspects of mass recognition, salary and looks.

Frozen toes

So yesterday afternoon I decided to go for a ride after work; some club members were going out for a ride and I just had enough time to catch up with them, so that worked out well. As it was I was craving a good ride, it had been over 2 weeks since my previous ride, see it got really nice and warm and then that went all to frozen shit. So since it seemed like a warm day, at least in relative terms, I decided to head out.

Now I should point out that I've been on a very strict training plan, I won't go out riding unless it's at least 10 C. I don't want to risk getting used to riding in temperatures colder than I will ever see in SoCal; after all what would be the point of that. But after two weeks without a real ride does things to ones resolve, so I broke down and went out, even though it was only 5 C and was clearly going to get colder as the ride was going to last until sundown.

The ride itself was fine, a nice route and favourable winds and good people to chat with. Though in retrospect the ride may have been a bit too easy; looking at the data from my heart rate monitor after the ride I realize that I really didn't work that hard at all. This may have been part of the source of my later problems, well that and a lack of planning for the colder temperatures.

See by the time I got home my feet were frozen, literally! I could barely move my toes, they were rather white, very hard and could be used to cool a hot drink if needed. So I decided to hop in the shower, expecting some discomfort from the warming process, I didn't anticipate what I got. Below I've chronicled what transpired over the first 10 minutes of the shower:

Stage 1: Fuck my toes are cold, I can barely feel anything with them.
Stage 2: Ahhhh! The warm water feels kind of nice, I can actually feel sensations returning to my toes.
Stage 3: Huh? I'm feeling a lot more things with my toes, but none of them really make sense. The water the pools in the bottom of the tub usually feels colder than the water coming out of the shower, not hotter.
Stage 4: WTF? Are my toes swelling up? And is this water or the oil in a deep fryer does it? Why are my toes so red?
Stage 5: Ok, a second ago it felt like my toes would fall off; now I can feel a strong rhythmical pulsing in them, and it doesn't correlate to my heart rate, what's going on here?
Stage 6: I swear I'll make a sacrifice to any god or demon that can take this pain away! Seriously this isn't funny any more, why the fuck did I go out riding in this cold fucking weather? There is no way this pain can possibly be worth it.

So finally after about 40 minutes in the shower the numbness/pain/pulsations/discolourations had subsided and I felt I should probably get out before I turned into a six foot tall prune. But I have decided that I will maintain my original pledge to not venture out on the bike unless it's at least 10 C. And yes, I do have shoe covers and other warm weather gear, but it's such a pain to figure out what to wear that it's just easier to limit myself to the type of weather I can expect to enjoy in SoCal. So fuck winter riding, I'm officially through with it, particularly if it takes place in April or May.

Politics or underwear?

I know, it sounds like a strange debate but it's been raging in my head for a while as two distinctly different blog topics. On one hand, I could try and make some meaningful comments about the state of US politics and how it's clearly a game of whoring yourself out for money. On the other hand I could inform you about some trends in mens underwear that I'm rather certain you aren't aware of and probably would rather not know about in the first place.

Neither one is likely to actually make for appealing reading.

So with that being said, I'm going to go with shock value (and the post least likely to affect my visa application).

Did you know that only 67% of men buy their own underwear? Apparently that's way up from years ago when 80% of mens underwear was purchased by women! Now I'll admit, I was one of those guys; well children would be the more exact term. Maybe it's just me but I don't think I'll ever have Deirdre do most of my clothes shopping. Sure, if she's making a fortune in Hollywood I'll let her pay for it, but I'll still pick it out.

But all this comes from an article in Newsweek a couple of months back. It seems that high-end men's underwear is the thing in fashion sales these days. Huh. I guess I was ahead of the curve again. Now I know you don't want to know what kind of underwear I wear, but let's just say that they aren't tighty-whitties, nor are they value-pack plaid boxers. See I noticed a while ago that there were two levels of underwear; stuff that was made with really nice material and seemed to have some design effort, and stuff that felt like it was made out of hospital gown material and was about as comfortable as said gown. So I decided to pay a bit more for better quality, and frankly I'll never go back. After-all that's the most intimate region of clothing, so it may as well feel the best.

So since then I've explored a bit more and have learned what other styles and choices there are to underwear. Recently though I came across something that I don't think I'd even be willing to try. Now I should note that a lot of these higher end undergarments are designed to "enhance" your form. And some do it really really well. One company however felt that traditional methods weren't enough, they had to take it into a whole new realm. Here's a copy of the text they used to describe what it is:

features innovative C-IN2 sling support technology designed to give you a bigger and better profile. This is achieved with an adjustable ½ wide elastic sling inside the pouch that forms a ring around your scrotum and penis which lifts them forward. The barbell is removable and can be moved to a different set of loops on the sling for adjustment. (Simple instructions included.)

Yeah, I was scratching my head to trying to figure out how that worked. Fortunately you can get a diagram on the web page; I assume it's from the "simple" instructions that are included with the underwear. Do wonder bras even come with instructions?

Ok, so now that you've looked at the picture you might have a few questions, I had two particular ones.

1. Isn't the elastic sling likely to catch and pull hairs out?
2. What happens if in a moment of passion you forget what type of underwear you're wearing?

Books

So I'm pretty sure that most people would agree that it's a good thing for people to read. It's generally seen as a sign of intelligence to read a book; after all people may boast or measure themselves by how many books they've read, not by how many episodes of Friends they've watched.

But I'm really starting to wonder about the quality of books out there. I mean sure there are good books out there, but good is a subjective measure. I'm not saying that the only books worth reading are those deemed to be of great literary value; sometimes it's just nice to read a story about a child wizard or some hidden treasure or even a period piece full of Victorian incest and intrigue. But a line needs to be drawn somewhere. I was starting to worry about it when I noticed a lot of bloggers getting book deals. Yes some have talent but to me a blog belongs as a blog, not a book. Yet I'm not concerned by that, what has me worried is that music stars are getting into the mix. And not just any stars, they are the masters of lyrical marvels that clearly take their inspiration for the bard himself: rappers!

That's right folks, in a book store the other day I saw books from none other than 50 cent. Ok, so he was co-author, I'm guessing he was in charge of dotting the 'i's and crossing 't's, the 'j's were left up to the other author after some confusion involving 'g'. Seriously though, the might be mensa material for all I know, but I'm pretty certain that his main fan base is not. When was the last time you heard of some wannabe thugs talking about books?

On a related note I also saw a large pile of "Dummies" books for sale; they really have expanded the products that they offer. Below I've listed some of my favorite "Dummies" book titles:

• Improving Your Memory for Dummies
  
• Alzheimer's for Dummies
  
• Anger Management for Dummies
• Depression for Dummies
  
• Overcoming Dyslexia for Dummies
• Getting Your Book Published for Dummies
• Smart Homes for Dummies
• TiVo for Dummies (under the hobbies section)
• Athletic Scholarships for Dummies (a.k.a. football)
  
• Mortgages for Dummies
• eBay for Dummies
• Baby Names for Dummies

Interestingly enough they are on the third edition of "Sex for Dummies" and only the second edition of "Pregnancy for Dummies". And the best sequence I saw on the rack was "Dating for Dummies", "Relationships for Dummies" and "Divorce for Dummies". I never would have thought that there would be such a demand for "Dummies" books, but clearly they are aiming at the largest sector of the population.