Part I: Hair.

Ok so I've been working on this idea for a blog post for some time. Those that know me can attest to the fact that I tend to dress better than the norm, at least for a chemist...though we are far from the norm to begin with...Anyway, maybe it's my ego talking but from what see these days it really seems as though the average guy could use a guide to fashion. Seriously it looks as though some of the men I see have been dressed by blind chimps. So in my desire to educate the masses, all 12 of them that read this (though 8 are women) here is my hopefully humorous guide to fashion for men, call it advice from the "Straight guy with a queer eye".

So let's take it from the top, hair. This would seem to be simple enough, after all it's stylish to have unkempt looking hair, so how hard can it be? Well, it seems that it can be pretty hard for a lot of guys. Now I don't want to shit on anyone for their sense of style, I realize that we don't all have the same tastes, but there are few things that should be avoided at all cost.

We all know that the mullet should never, ever be thought of yet alone seen. Business in the front party in the back, my ass! It's more like shitty haircut in the front, freaky redneck look from any other angle. How about you make a commitment to one type of hair style and go with it. In the end the mullet virtually combines the only two other hair styles I object to. I think the photo to the right sums it up properly, if you have a mullet expect to be ridiculed.

Now the two other styles I can't stand are the buzz cut and really long hair. Both just point out to the world that you are a lazy bastard. Yeah, the buzz cut is a hella cool military look. You know why it's done like that, because a soldier has to worry about killing or being killed, not coiffing his mullet. But they also have to be told how to do everything, so maybe it's just a simplicity thing in the end too. Either way if you are a normal person without a more to do by 9:00 than most will do all day, you have time to develop an actual style. Now remember folks, a lack of style is not a style, it's just lazy. The same goes for really long hair. Now I have nothing against long hair so long as you have it cut and styled. When you let it grow wild and free, to the point where it's down past your shoulders, maybe it's time to rethink things a bit.

Onto facial hair. Now there are some that would argue that facial hair is good and for some I suppose it can work. But unless you are blessed to be a Guatemalan it's likely that your facial hair really isn't helping things at all. In some cases a well trimmed beard can work for you, but often the look is better accomplished by getting a good 5 o'clock shadow going. But for the love of god, all gods in fact, do not grow a mustache if there is a chance (which is highly likely) that you look like any of these people (I couldn't disgrace the blog with such ugly pictures, you'll have to click the link to find out what I mean).

Finally, some of you may be familiar with the term manscaping. If not, take a second to read the definition in the link. Good, so the purpose is to maintain some semblance of the normal image of a homo sapien, rather than homo neanderthalensis. So removing excessive back hair, though potentially painful will probably make life better. And frankly it has to be more comfortable, half the reason I hate wearing hats is just how it feels to have my hair covered like that.

Now there is one final caveat with hair and particularly manscaping. Whatever you do, don't follow the lead of the gentleman below (and I include going to watch nascar in that restriction).

That's all for today, check back tomorrow for Part II: Shirts.