The joy of neighbours

So anyone who’s ever lived in an apartment building has had the joys of having neighbours that you would never want to live near. Normally it’s not too bad, there’ll be one unpleasant one near you with the rest being normal. I however have the joy of having three different annoyances. I’m sure many of you have had similar if not worse neighbours but I’m kind of fed up with them so it’s time to vent.

Pain in the ass #1: Video game loser

This guy, and it’s always a guy is about my age, maybe even older. He lives right above me. Now for the most part he’s ok, he doesn’t seem to make a lot of noise and other than his sink causing mine to back-up I wouldn’t even know he’s there. That is until he starts to play video games. Actually video game would be a better description. As far as I can tell all he ever does with his free time is play something like Counter Strike. Over the holidays I had to endure a near endless barrage of computerized explosions for hours on end at all hours of the day and night. Now I’ve got nothing against video games, just you aren’t going to play a variety of games, turn the fucking volume down!

Pain in the ass #2: Smelly cooker

This neighbour is the one who proves the law of diffusion on a regular basis. As someone who loves to cook I can understand how the sent can permeate an area and spread from room to room. But I’ve also never been to a restaurant where the whole place smelled as strongly as my hallway does when this neighbour cooks. And it’s not good! I really have no clue what they are cooking but the other night I would have sworn that it was roast BO!

Pain in the ass #3: Screaming lover

This last neighbour isn’t so bad, of all the sounds a neighbour could make this isn’t the worst…well it kind of sucks when you aren’t getting any and your neighbour is. In fact it led to an interesting dream when her screaming woke me up last time. But the odd part is the infrequency of it. See my neighbour is a guy, and though the girl isn’t there all the time I have heard here over there more often than I’ve heard them having sex. Now seeing as she seems to be really enjoying herself, one would expect that she’d be there more often, not only once a month as it seems. Which makes me wonder; is my neighbour hiring a hooker? It would explain why he’s “so good” yet getting some so rarely!