Part III: Pants
Alright it's time to get back to telling guys what not to wear. And it's clear that this needs to be done, while waiting for the bus this morning I saw a hair "style" that I forgot to mention...mostly because I didn't think I would ever see it now that the 80's are almost 3 decades ago. But I guess I was wrong, this morning I got to see a fabulous example of the dreaded "rat tail". I just want to know what self respecting stylist will actually cut his hair that way? Oh yeah, he probably goes to Supercuts (they do sponsor a nascar team after all).
Anyway onto pants. This one you would think would be easy...actually you wouldn't think any of these would be all that hard, but evidently that's far from true for many people. Now pants are pretty easy just the same, you have a limited choice of styles and unlike skirts you don't have to worry about things like hem length and other issues of fit. Despite all this people still seem to fuck it up!
First of all, get pants that fit, most people have this right but some (possibly my boss) can't seem to find a pant leg that is the right length. Your pants should come down to the top of your shoes, not the top of your socks! This really shouldn't be that hard to figure out. When you are trying on your pants look down. If this is too hard, look in a mirror, do you see your socks? Are your pants still on? If so find a longer pair of pants. And don't try to claim they shrank in the wash, because for them to be showing two inches of sock means that your waist shrunk to the size of an Olson twins.
Secondly, only wear overalls for appropriate jobs. Actually scratch that, even farmers don't look good in overalls, come to think of it I don't recall seeing farmers wearing them that often while growing up. Overalls look cute on little kids, on grown men...well let's just say that like for the little kid, I will assume that you are also wearing a diaper.Finally some of you will want to occasionally wear something other than jeans. This is good, I recommend it in fact. But please do me a favour, don't wear pleated pants. I really have no clue why these exist. They just look wrong! There is no need for these odd folds of fabric framing your crotch. Admittedly they can work with a suit, but don't try to wear them on their own, otherwise you will look like this goofy schmuck.
Ok, so Part IV is forthcoming, but as you can tell, there is no set schedule, so keep coming back to check for more.
posted by Christopher Robin at 9:20 a.m.
3 Comments:
You forgot thongs: Last winter I had a date at Barbette and had to keep avoiding seeing a chick on a barstool directly in front of me whose pants were revealing huge amounts of thong real estate. They might be cute if they peek out a little bit, but if I can see the skin both above and below the thong, you need pants that fit! Or possibly a bigger thong.
Also, I hope you're reserving this rant to men's pants only. Because unless you've lived in a closet all your life, you might recall that they don't make women's pants in W/L sizes. There are "standard" lengths that most pants come in for us although you might find a little more flexibility at the Gap and places that offer Tall and Ankle length for those of us who don't magically wear a 32 inch inseam.
10:56 a.m.
Sascha - These comments are reserved for men, in my opinion they need far more help than women. Plus I don't know enough about womens clothing to even dare attempt to say what should and should not be worn. Though I do agree with you about the thong thing. Some girls seem to have forgotten that subtlety is key.
11:00 a.m.
Good day! This post could not be written any better! Reading through this post reminds me of my previous room mate! He always kept talking about this. I will forward this post to him. Pretty sure he will have a good read. Thank you for sharing!slim fit cargo pants
9:10 a.m.
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