New celebrations

The one thing that seems to amaze me constantly since moving to the US has been their propensity to celebrate just about anything. Just this past weekend I learned of an entirely new celebration that I would never have even dreamed of. I happened to notice a gathering of probably 60 people in front of a house this weekend in what seemed like some form of a party. When I mention this to Deirdre I was informed that:

"Oh yeah, that must have been a graduation open house."

Now you would think that being Canadian and having lived in the US for over a year now I would be very unlikely to find any cultural differences that I was not aware of. But as it turns out the more I live hear the more I learn. Now I can't say anything for the rest of you, but this graduation open house is a completely foreign concept to me. Maybe it's because I grew up in rural Quebec and you guys can put me right on this topic. So I had to ask what is a graduation open house?

I was told that it's a celebration for graduating from high school. The family throws a party and anyone is welcome to stop by and congratulate the graduate.

Now that seems really kind of nice and growing up in a very rural environment I can see how this might be skipped. After if everyone who could easily walk over came by there would be about 8 people there.

But it seems that this initial information wasn't complete. See I asked why there would be about 60 people to congratulate some kid on finishing high school.

First of all, it's expected that there will be plenty of food and cake.
Ok, that makes sense, it is a party after all.
And there are invitations that are mailed out, or sometimes fliers are put up around the neighbourhood. And the house is decorated with balloons, and signs. And lots of people decorate with the school colors, and display pictures (homecoming, prom, school activities, life-span, etc.) and awards or artwork, etc.
Now this is getting a bit much. But then again I had no school spirit, I don't think anyone at my school did. But that's what you get when it's built in a corn field and is sinking. And what the hell is homecoming? Is that another American only celebration?

With everyone finishing at the same time these parties go on throughout May and June each weekend. Friends will often have to hit multiple parties each weekend to see all their friends again. Now let's work on some efficiency here. One big party for everyone, does everyone need to have their own party? And you just spent all year with these people do you need to have a party to commemorate that?

And a basket will be put out for cards and presents. Some people will literally get thousands of dollars, or maybe a car and stuff for their apartment/dorm when they go to college. Seriously now, they completed high school, it's not as though they actually did anything really meaningful. Maybe it's just me and because I have a PhD, but graduating high school seems to be one of the requirements in life, like learning how to tie your shoes. And much like that the reward is that you don't fall on your face and make an ass of yourself.

So after hearing all this from Deirdre I was rather stunned. I think all I got for my high school graduation was $20 and maybe a card from my aunts and uncles. Actually the more I think about it I was surprised when a second cousin sent me a card for $50 bucks for getting my PhD, now I'm feeling ripped off!

Of course after a little tirade about how ridiculous it is to make such a celebration of a minor achievement in life I remembered something that I tend to overlook, my girlfriend is American. Yup, she had an open house as well (though not an extravagant affair)...ah the familiar taste of my own foot, some things never change.

Bragging

I'm fairly certain that most people who know me would claim that I'm not one to brag. If however I'm delusional I'm sure we will all be able to read about it in the comments. But since I don't think that I'm a braggart, though I am somewhat narcissistic, I want to share some of the events from a ride I took Tuesday night, right after finishing my last entry.

Since I've been feeling as though I'm not quite ready to get out and race I decided to go do a hard solo ride. I have a usual route that takes me out to Saint Paul and back. It's a little short, only about 45 km (~28 miles), but I can add in a few good hills and there are long uninterrupted sections where I can really work on maintaining a fast pace. Now Tuesday was also a nice hot day, around 28 C (82 F) when I got back from the ride at 8:30 pm, I've said it before and I'll say it again, hot weather seems to work out rather well for me on the bike.

Anyway after pushing hard through head/cross winds all the way to Saint Paul I was nice and warmed up when I was about to tackle my first hill. One of the things that I've been missing in my training so far this year has been that drive, the desire to push myself harder then I would imagine possible. Well on my first climb I found that motivation again, it came in the form of about 15 other cyclists. See they had reached the base of the hill just as I was about 200 meters behind them. I don't know if it was the few neon orange jerseys I saw but something just clicked in my mind and all I could think was "This hill is mine". For those from the Twin Cities, this was the Ohio climb.

Now of course I have no idea how many hills they have climbed or how far they had gone already that day, or even if any of them were competitive cyclists. So normally I don't really care if I pass someone on a ride, for all I know they've just ridden a double-century. But when I passed the first rider as the road bent to the right he just said "Whoosh". Now I don't know about you but for me that kind of spurred me on a bit more. I mean I was moving pretty damn fast, I figure it must have been close to 30 km/h (18 mph) because I was passing people through the hairpin as though they were standing still. Which might have been why a woman exclaimed with some alarm "Whoa!!!" as I caught up to the leader of the group. I think I heard a few other sounds that may have been hushed comments...though more likely heavy breathing, but damn that got me going up that hill hard! And I must admit I was sucking air like mad and it took me most of the way to Ramsey hill to catch my breath, even then I was seriously overheated...maybe warm weather isn't so good for me after all?

Just the same as I was heading back I was still feeling damn good about myself, well not right away I had to recover from Ramsey hill first, but several blocks later I was feeling ok. Which is about the time the pack of scooters caught me. Now I have nothing against scooters, but I really don't like the idea of being passed by one. So those racing instincts kicked in and there I was cruising along at over 50 km/h (30 mph) in the bike path next to a pack of scooters on the road. Now this kept up for several kilometers. After a while the pack and I had turned off the road with the bike path so I just slipped into the pack to finally catch a draft. The funny part was how safe it felt there, like I finally had a cocoon around me to protect me from the cars. One of the guys in the pack said how impressed he was that I was able to stick with them at those speeds. Once again making my night even better.

So all in all it was a lot of impromptu fun. Now if only I can find that group again and convince them to do group motor pacing for my bike club...though there is the downside to that exhaust, damn it was nasty from some of them!

Thoughts on a bike ride

I know that some of you who read this blog are, like myself, a little bit touched and tend to enjoy bicycling way too much. For the rest of you probably don't really know just what that's like so I figured I would try to describe the usual post-work weekday training ride.

5:30 pm - You just got home from work and the ride starts in 30 minutes, and you live at least 15 minutes from the ride start. Sure it would have been smart to prep everything that morning (or even the night before), but let's face it though you will ride a century (100 miles) at the drop of a hat, you are fundamentally lazy off the bike. Hence beyond getting your gear, water bottles and food ready, you probably have to fill or change the tires, fix some nagging noise/poor shifting/worn-out brake pads...

5:50 pm - You decided to eat a bowl of cereal and check your email again, so you didn't fix that annoying noise and now you're busting your ass to get to the start point on time.

6:00 pm - You're the only one there, like every other time everyone else is running late, because they actually fixed the noise and ate, so you sit around waiting for them.

6:10 pm - Ok, so now that people are here it's time to chit-chat, yeah you should get out and go while it's still warm and light, but you haven't seen these people in a couple days...unless you count the emails and on-line forums the club uses. Anyway, this is the time to make the excuses, I barely slept last night, I'm still burnt out from the weekend. And it's also time to reaffirm that each person will be going slow up the hills or there aren't many hills, and that this is a recovery ride. Those of you not part of a club should know that a) they will go slow up the hills, if nobody is in front of them, if you pass them they will pass you b) it's always a hill ride, even in the middle of the prairies cyclist can find hills, and when they do see a c) Nobody goes on recovery rides, in part because of b.

6:30 pm - See, there's that damn hill, so much for this won't be a hill ride. But maybe you are feeling good, maybe you can actually keep up with the guy who weighs in at 120 pounds...with the bike and two full water bottles. Ok, so maybe you kept up until you accidentally passed his wheel by half an inch, now he's 10 feet in front of you seem to be moving backwards. But hey, this is only one hill, you can survive this ride.

6:55 pm - Hill eight. Wait a minute, this hill has an emergency exit for trucks whose breaks fail, are you sure this is the right way? Of course you're only a third of the way up the hill and already there is nobody within earshot to hear what you are saying, hell you can hardly hear over the pounding of your pulse in your ear...is that healthy?

7:15 pm - Top of hill ten, time for a rest break. Though actually this is only a rest break in the loosest of terms. You see, you were the last one to the top, everyone else has been resting for a while now so they will give you just enough time to let you unclip and take a drink from your bottle, but only one drink, then it's off for more fun...why didn't you just stay home on the couch?

7:45 pm - You don't know how many you've been on, you're even fairly certain that the fast guys are hiding around the corner and taking turns having you chase their barely visible form up the same hills over and over. But now everyone is back together. Time for a little chit chat, and a chance to decide what hill to take for the final climb. Unfortunately you are too feeble to make your selection of heard, and of course the chosen route is the one with the wall of a road...but it's shorter (like that really helps things).

7:50 pm - Ok, last hill, you're feeling like you can do this. You've done it before and lived to ride another day...well not the next day, after all you were kind of worried when you actually felt muscle fibres in your thigh tear as you raced over the top with that other lunatic...shit he's beside you again, and why is he grinning like that?

7:50:15 pm - Alright, this can work, you're not feeling too bad, you chose the right gear, your legs are spinning nicely

7:50:30 pm - Maybe that was the wrong gear? Your legs are still turning over but they seem to be listening to someone else, someone telling them to go slower each time...interesting.

7:50:45 pm - Yeah, you were in the wrong gear, and you really should have shifted about 30 seconds ago. Now you're going about 10 km/h and you start to wonder how you're still able to balance moving so slowly.

7:51:20 pm - Only 100 meters left to the hill you can do it.

7:51:44 pm - Only 50 meters left. And now it seems as though your legs stop at the bottom of each pedal stroke...why haven't you fallen over yet?

7:52:08 pm - Just 15 meters, thank god you were starting to see spots.

7:53: 27 pm - Aren't you there yet? What the hell is taking so long?

7:53: 40 pm - Did you slip onto a treadmill or something? Because you really should be at the top by now?

7:53:56 pm - Finally. You've made it. So now you can take a "break". Which incidentally you're going to need, because they group will want to ride at about 50 km/h now that it's a flat section in order to make all the lights.

8:02 pm - And yet another light missed by just a second...and yet again we accelerate like mad in a futile attempt to make the next light...as if you legs hadn't suffered already.

8:14 pm - Finally, the group has started to break up as people search for the shortest way home, or the way home that doesn't involve riding with the guys who are nuts and upping the pace all the time. By chance you get a nice easy route home, along the river road with the nice houses...and impatient angry old ladies in a hurry to get home and die. Seriously, a twenty second delay to pull into your driveway won't kill you, and do you really need to start honking from half a block back?

8:25 pm - It's almost done, you're on the last leg of the trip, all alone and you can now go as slow as you want without fear of ridicule...well maybe that Latino kid on the tricycle ridiculed you as he passed you but you don't speak Spanish. And just as you think the last of the insults are done with your neighbours have one last treat for you...they are all out making dinner on the BBQ! Charred meat could never smell better, you're actually so hungry that dirt would taste good, but all you have at home is more cereal, because after the last ride you were too tired/lazy to get to the grocery store, and it's not likely to be any different tonight.

Men

Now I think that it's been clearly established through this blog that I'm not really the kind of guy who is big on football, NASCAR and other traditional American male pursuits. Hell I love to bike and dance, I'm about as un-American as a multi-party (and no only having two parties does not count) political system. So some of the behaviour and attitudes of the "typical American male" just puzzel me.

Last night I came upon a prime example of this at the end of my ride. As I pulled up to a read light I found myself behind a customized pick up truck with the license "MO PWER". Now if it wasn't lame enough that this guy spend extra money to get the personalized plate but what is he trying to say? Does he need more power? Or is he trying to imply that he has more power? All in all, I think the statement that he made is more like the plate to the right.

Now the vanity plate is one thing. It's lame, we can all agree on that. I mean do I really need to know that you are cupcake3? No, I would probably think more highly of you if you didn't announce your unoriginal nickname to the world. But what was far worse than that vanity plate was what the guy did to his rear window. Now, I never did see the driver of the pick up but I'm 99% certain that we can claim that he was a guy, because no woman has this poor taste. In his back window he had an oh so stylish see-through decal...of a mean clown holding a skull in each hand. Now I don't know about you but to me that doesn't make him seem tough, actually it makes me think that he might find clowns to be very scary.

So I decided to do a bit of research for this blog entry to see what kind of decals you can get for the back of your truck. The "best" site for this is here. And below are some of my personal favorites:

I'm a real man so I like to kill pretty things:

The patriotic American collection:


Seriously do you want an image of a fish as your rear window?

The camouflage window...how exactly does it camouflage you, you're in a fucking truck!

And one for the ladies, or at least the one you hope your date doesn't have when he comes to pick you up on that first date:
By the way, I have actually seen this last one on some truck parked at the mall. I can't believe that guys will buy this shit.

Moving

Damn it's been a long time since I posted on here. Oh well, they do actually pay me to do work and not to entertain you guys, so just be happy if I post at all when things are working properly in the lab. On top of being busy with work I've been busy packing up to move. Ok, that's far from being true. I started packing last night and in just over an hour I had packed everything but my kitchen. Hey, when I moved down here I shipped everything I had in 9 boxes, and two of those boxes were bikes. So it's not going to be hard to pack and move again.

So why am I moving? Well, I've got a better place lined up. Sure it's way smaller, doesn't have a dishwasher or a garbage disposal and has one of the smallest kitchens I've ever been in. But it has some other perks. Such as I doubt I will be able to come home late at night and watch someone get arrested in my hallway. And I don't think that I will have the interesting characters walking through the alley on their way to the soup kitchen around the corner every night at 6:00. And I won't have the good fortune of having a Wendy's going up right across the street from me.

Instead I get to live in the trendy part of town. I suspect that my current location will be in the trendy part of town in the next five to ten years, but I'm not going to wait that long. I will also finally have a grocery store within a reasonable distance, actually three blocks away. And I get a better bus route to and from work for slightly less rent. So all in all I can live with that. Oh, I move at the end of the month so contact me if you need the new address.

Need something to read?

As you've probably all noticed I haven't really posted very much this week. It seems that things are looking really promising with the new direction my project at work has taken. My boss thinks that if this thing works we may even be able to patent it...not that I would likely see any money from that (stupid university patent rules).

Anyway, if you haven't been checking out Deirdre's blog you should. She has been posting like mad for the past couple of weeks so there should be something fun to read over there. I will try to have something more meaningful up this weekend, but I promise nothing.

Trip through the Midwest

I learned a few things through our weekend trip out to Pittsburgh and back. Some of these things may have been useful to learn, others certainly were not. I'll let you be the judge of what was useful and what wasn't. Since this was my first trip through the Midwest here's a state by state commentary on what I saw.

Wisconsin:
Never before have I seen a single state so devoted to a singular idea. It was almost breathtaking how they all seem to be in lockstep on this one topic. Billboards and business signs all along the highway shout out a reminder of their devotion to you. It would be very impressive, if it wasn't for cheese. Seriously, this whole state is just nuts about bacterially cultured milk products. Sure cheese is great on pizza and ok on a few other things, but damn these people need to find a new interest. Just look at their football fans, I don't know how but they managed to incorporate cheese in to that as well!

Illinois:
Now this state wasn't so bad, I've actually been here a couple of times before, both conference trips to Chicago. So I was initially excited to learn that our trip would take us through Chicago. It's a beautiful city with an impressive skyline. And I got plenty of time to watch that skyline inch pass. It seems that everyone in the state of Illinois has nothing better to do than to drive around Chicago, even at 3:00 pm on a Sunday! And why are they all heading towards Wisconsin at that time? Don't they know there's nothing there but cheese? Oh and I got to see a billboard expounding the virtues of a conservative talk radio station. They did so in the eloquent and succinct "Liberals Hate It" statement. Don't you love tolerance?

Indiana:
To be honest I don't recall much about Indiana. There seemed to be a good number of factories and an equal amount of stench. I guess the only good thing was that the roads were well maintained and the speed limit was 70 mph. I can only assume that was done to facilitate the escape of any unfortunate traveller that must pass though the state. And at least the tolls (yes there were tolls for most of the trip) were done with a smart system. You pick up a card on the way in and pay on the way out. Though I don't know what the punishment is if you can't pay...maybe they make you stay in the state?

Ohio:
I think somewhere along the way we have all heard the term "Cleveland Rocks!". Personally I could never figure that out, how on earth did some Midwest city get that slogan. Then I stopped at a rest stop in the state. I think the city rocks whenever someone takes a step. Damn the people there are fat! Are they only eating cheese that the got in Wisconsin? The really sad part for people in Ohio is that not only are they so fat, but they are just plain ugly! I don't wish to be mean, but damn! By the way, if you want to make money in Ohio set up a vending machine selling scratch and win tickets at a highway rest stop. Within 3 minutes I saw about half a dozen people pump about $50 into the damn thing. And just check out past Ohio lottery winners to see what an attractive state it is.

Pennsylvania:
Though not technically part of the Midwest this was our final destination. Driving into the state at about 2:00 am didn't provide us with much to see. Actually the thick fog prevented us from seeing much at all. Strangely enough the fog seemed to hover over the construction zones on the highway at night...talk about eerie. On the way out we did get to see the nice hilly roads, though sadly no Amish. But there was more fog that morning as well, do you think the fog ate the Amish?

The last thing that I learned on the trip is that if you are speeding for roughly 1700 miles you are likely to get caught at some point in time. Usually when you are about an hour or two from being home. Oh and the fine for speeding in Wisconsin (between 11 and 15 mph over the limit) is $186! At least that will help make the roads better...though then I'd probably be likely to drive faster...yeah all in all that part of the trip sucked. After all you never want to have this guy walk up to your car.

We're back

I wanted to try and post another Audioblogger since the return but I've been having troubles getting a good signal and a clear recording. So I'm just going to say that we got back pretty much hassle free. The trip was a success, in that Deirdre found an apartment in Pittsburgh. And it also turns out that she is great to take along on a road trip, even one that takes about 15 hours each way.

I'll post more about the trip on Tuesday I hope.

Road trip

Tomorrow Deirdre and I will be hitting the road for Pittsburgh and to check out apartments for her when she goes to grad school. It's been a long time since I've taken any really long drives. The summers in Alberta were always filled with the 3 hour trip to the Calgary area for bike races. So it's going to be kind of odd to be taking a long drive without a bike on the roof. That and three hours of virtually straight highway isn't the same as 13 hours through the Midwest. Though we should be fortunate to have better scenery than you get on the way to and from Calgary. I mean serious, how can a road go 300 km and only have 3 hills and only slightly more curves! I guess that's the Prairies for you. Growing up in Quebec it seemed as though straight roads were a rarity. Or maybe it was the fact that there were trees and hills that made it feel different. Not that it matters.

Anyway because I'll be away this doesn't mean that there won't be anything posted on the blog. I may actually try to do an Audioblogger post. If you don't know what that is check back here in a day or so and you may find out.

An atheist preacher?

I think I have mentioned before that there is are a number of "preachers" who like to enlighten the academic community of this university from their makeshift pulpit, right in front of the chemistry building. Now I have no idea why they chose the chemistry building, but whatever there is high traffic in the area so it works for them. Plus it works for me too, I get to listen to ramblings on such enlightened views, such as how they aren't opposed to gays, just them getting married.

Now the thing that I haven't mentioned to any of you, but that I'm certain you have all assumed at this point, is that the preachers are Christian. They aren't shouting about the teachings of Buddha,Vishnu, Allah and what about Odin, Neptune and Ra? Why don't we get preachers going off about their teachings?

I'm actually kind of curious if the same situation presents itself in other theocratic states. If you don't thin the US is a theocratic state you really aren't paying attention. Hell it's no accident that all US currency has "In God we trust" on it. Just check out this little history lesson from the Department of the Treasury.

But anyway, I did start to think what it would be like if an atheist decided to take the fiery preacher route that Christians seem to enjoy so much. After all, why can't Atheists make use of the same tactics as the Christians. Though honestly, do they actually manage to change anyone that way? Are gays walking by going to be less inclined to get married because of what some nut ball was shouting?

Of course I realize that it wouldn't be a really long debate/sermon should an Atheist decide to express his/her views. Beyond saying that there is no god what other controversial material do Atheists have to work with? Evolution? The Big Bang? That really doesn't hold a candle to the hell and damnation that the Christians have to work with.

The more I think about it the more I realize that those preaching aren't "doing the Lord's bidding". They are attention hogs. They just want an audience to perform in front of. So they can't sing or act but they can shout. So why not shout about a topic that is sure to gather attention from all parties.

You know, I think I just came up with a great idea for a new TV series, American Preacher! It could be run exactly like American Idol with the whole casting call episodes and the phone in votes. Even a panel of judges from different religions to add fuel to the fire. It would be great! Christians, Hindus, Muslims and all the rest could try out...but you know it would be a Christian that would win in the end. And at the end they get their own Preaching hour show on some obscure cable station. You laugh now, but just you wait and see.

Year two!

So I don't know if anyone noticed or not, but it was a year ago last week that I moved down here. Which also means that the blog has been up and running for just over a year now.

It's strange how different things feel this year as compared to last. This city is no longer unfamilliar, I have more friends and I have a form of a routine to life. Oh yeah, and I have a girlfriend as well. Wow, we've been dating for just over 7 months, more than half the time that I have been here. Where does the time go?

The blog has gone through changes from when I first started it. I'm not as introspective here, I don't reveal as much about my life. I could probably try to turn this into some deep philosophical, self-reflective journey of discovery, but I really don't want to bother with that kind of BS. I guess all I really have to say is that I think the blog has been succesful...well partially anyway. I wanted to use it as a method of keeping distant friends involved in my life. And yes the blog is read by many, but I have to admit, I haven't heard from many people at all. But that's just the way things go.

Either way the blog will continue, as it is the hit counter is at 7,026 and 214 postings, so a touch over 19 hits a day or 32 hits a post, not too bad. Oh and remember, this blog is open to any comments, so feel free to have your say at any time, what can I say, I like to hear from my friends.