Bathroom etiquette

Now I don't want to say the maintenance staff at this university are filthy, but let's just say that I'm not going to touch anything they fix with my bare hands. See over the past couple of weeks I have had the pleasure of being in the washroom at the same time as these fine, hard working, gentlemen.

And I do mean hard working. I mean they must be in one hell of a rush to get their work done. Because one guy just left the washroom right away after taking a shit. Now that's dedication to your job! I just hope to god he wasn't one of the guys working in my office. Incidentally the ceiling has yet to be fixed since their last visit. So I'd have to bet that mister "My shit's so clean I don't need to wash my hands." wasn't in that much of a rush after all.

Today I got another surprise while I was in the washroom. The electronic beep of a two-way radio, followed by a discussion from the guy on the crapper. Now don't take this personally, but if you are ever in a washroom and I call you, I actually don't want to talk to you. I may have thought that my needs were supremely urgent, like needing to know how to make a tourniquet to stop massive hemorrhaging, but I was clearly wrong. When I talk to you on the phone I wish it to be just like when I speak to you in person, we should both be fully clothed and there should be no expulsionary bodily functions taking place at the time.

But maybe it's just. Maybe I'm a bit weird in not wanting to talk to you while being able to hear the splash and gurgle of toilets. So don't worry if I call, just turn the ringer off and let me leave a voicemail, I won't mind, I promise.